


Revamped

by colorsunimaginable



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Bella Swan - Freeform, Comedy, Desperate, Edward Cullen - Freeform, F/M, Falling In Love, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kinky, Mouth Breather, NSFW, POV Original Female Character, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sexy Times, Shovel Face, Suspense, Teen Angst, Thriller, Vampires, plus size, teen, thirst, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8161468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorsunimaginable/pseuds/colorsunimaginable
Summary: After the death of her family, Melisa Lynn is moved cross-country to live with her Uncle Charlie in Forks, Washington. In Forks, she meets this freak named Edward Cullen, and somehow falls in love. Join her as she discovers what it truly means to love a vampire with all of the bloody consequences. Fasten your maxi pad, we're going on a ride in Revamped.





	1. Lasanga

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, my name is Melisa Lynn or better known as colorsunimaginable, the face behind this beautiful disaster of a fanfiction. Basically what I've done is I've switched a few things from the original and tried to make it better. For instance, Bella is not the main character, which is the best thing you can do to Twilight, honestly. She's boring as fuck and I make sure to get that point across. I also try to point out how fucked up everything is, and point out the humor of the situation with my main character. Yes, she's me, because I'm fucking hilarious, and I'm a much better match for Edward anyway. 
> 
> Please don't judge this too harshly because it's a self-insertion fic. Sometimes they do work. Oh, and please, if you would be so kind as to leave some feedback. You can be as harsh or as kind as you want. I'd just love to hear from you.
> 
> Thank you :)
> 
> PS. I know that my tenses are all fucked up. I'll get a Beta reader sometime soon.

Everything happened suddenly.

The crash was fast and brutal – both my parents and little brother died instantly. At least that’s what they told me. It was hard to believe they didn’t suffer after I had to identify their mutilated bodies the next day.

In the days following, I spent throwing together a funeral for three and identifying which of my only family’s belongings I wanted to keep and store versus what I wanted to sell. The social worker who was assigned to my case helped me contact my uncle, the closest thing I had left to family. Because I was only sixteen, I could either move in with him or be put into foster care. I was ridiculously lucky that he agreed to take me in.

The funeral was held at my mother’s church. I’m not a religious person, but the place was like a second home to me, and I couldn’t imagine burying my family anywhere else. Only once before had I attended a funeral for someone I actually knew – not just some old relative I couldn’t even name. The suicide of my close friend sophomore year had left me scarred and I had thought then that I’d never cry so hard and so much ever again, but I was wrong. Throughout the entire service and burial, I bobbed back and forth between hard sobs and silent heavy tears.

Fifteen days after the death of my family, I find myself boarding an airplane for the first time in my life. Its destination Seattle, Washington. Everything is squared away – the house sold, along with most of the furniture, the cars, and the impressive but intense collection of junk my parents had in their possession. The items I decided to keep were being held in a long-term storage unit. The things I chose to bring with me are photo albums, a few of the quilts my mother had made, and my own collection of junk that I had in my room. The bins of that would arrive at my new home after I will, so in my luggage I have my immediate essentials such as clothes, electronics, a few books, and a small case of my journal supplies.

My uncle’s name is Charlie. He is the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington. Due to the geographical location of our homes, plus with no big family get-togethers, I haven’t seen him since I was an infant. I vaguely remember my mom showing me a recent picture of him and his daughter, Bella, as part of the annual tradition of including a recent picture when sending the Christmas cards.

I sleep for most of the flight. After having spent the majority of the time crying, I’m currently cried out. And that’s a good thing. Before my scheduled departure, I was able to have one last day with my closest friends. I cried some, but only when I had to say goodbye. I didn’t want the remaining time I had left with them to be filled with sadness. I need happy memories to keep me going and distract me from the complete life change.

I’ve lived my entire life in Woodbridge, Virginia, and so I don’t know what it’s like to be the new kid. I imagine it’s going to be complete shit. Of course, that might just be my depression talking. Always imagining the worst outcome of a situation and expecting that to be the reality. If my prediction comes true, however, at least I’ll be prepared.

Charlie had told me he’d be waiting for me in his police uniform when I unboard the plane. True to his word, I find him standing alone once the rest of the passengers have cleared the area. He has dark curly hair and an awkward slash sympathetic smile peeking out from underneath his mustache.

“Melissa,” he says and holds his arms out for an embrace. “It’s nice to meet you.”

I fold into his arms and correct him on the pronunciation of my name. “Actually, it’s Melisa (mel-LEE-suh).”

“Oh, sorry,” he says as we pull away. “Mel-lee-suh. I’m sorry again about your family.”

“Thank you,” I say and I give him a sad smile.

After collecting my bags, we go to his cruiser, and begin the three-and-a-half-hour drive to Forks.

I don’t know if he’s just a silent person in general, or if I have an expression written on my face that says “please don’t talk to me, I’m grieving”, but he doesn’t try to make conversation. He turns on the radio and I plug in my earbuds, staring out the window at the passing scenery.

I find Washington to be beautiful. Despite it being late January, green is everywhere – on the trees, on the bark, the moss on the ground. The sunlight even filters greenly through the trees. Although it’s beautiful, being here felt strange and unfamiliar, like it was an alien planet. But I don’t linger too much on the strange and unfamiliar aspect – it reminded me too much of why I’m here in the first place.

Sometime towards the end of the trip, I fall asleep. Charlie nudges me awake when we arrive at the small, two-bedroom house I now get to call my home. My uncle bought it during the early – and only – days of his marriage to Bella’s mom, Renee. After they split, he kept the house, and Renee kept Bella. A month ago, I think, Bella moved in with her dad because her mom was travelling with her new husband.

He helps me carry my luggage inside and up the stairs to my room. The first call I made to Charlie was very short. It was just to inform him that my parents and little brother had passed in a car accident, and I needed someone to take me in. I didn’t want him to make a decision right away, but I still needed to know soon so that I could make the proper arrangements. He called me the next day to tell me he could take me in, then we discussed the living arrangements. He and Bella could switch rooms (because he had the master bath), and I could room with Bella. Or they could clear out what was essentially an extra-large closet that could fit a bed and a dresser, possibly a small desk if we got creative.

I opted for the later. I didn’t want to put him and Bella through so much trouble just for me. Plus, to be honest, I want my own private space. I don’t care how small it is. I know I can get creative. With some of the money I’ve gotten from selling just about everything of major value and no emotion attachment to, I had it in the budget to get what I need to make my room livable, and I want to possibly get a car. I have my driving license in Virginia and want to apply for a Washington one soon after I arrive.

In the room a bed is already squeezed in and made. Charlie puts my stuff on the hardwood floor, and I drop what I’m carrying on the bed.

“We haven’t found a dresser yet,” he says. “But we can go hunting for it this weekend. Along with whatever else you’ll need.”

“Thank you,” I say, and I say it again, but with more sincerity, trying to somehow make him understand how much all of this meant to me. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he says, his eyes awkwardly meeting mine. “I’ll leave you settle in. I think Bella’s making some lasagna tonight for dinner.” He shuffles out of the room and closes the door behind him.

Silence fills the small space and my chest tightens, a telltale sign that I want to cry. I breathe in and out deeply, trying to kick out the intrusive sad thoughts broadcasting in my mind. Instead, I take in the details of my new room. It’s in the front corner of the house. Despite its size, there’s a window on both of the outside walls – one giving me a view of the front yard, and the other a view of the dense woods that encased the property. They didn’t have curtains, so that was something I need to add to my shopping list.

Charlie had been right, there was room enough for a dresser, right up next to the bed. I can’t see how there’s room for a desk, though. Because the room is basically a closet, the door opens into the hallway. Immediately inside of the door, you meet the bed about a foot and a half in. From there, you can walk around the bed, less than three feet between the wall and the bed.

As a writer, I need a desk to, you know, do my writing, so that’s something I don’t think I can compromise. What I can do, though, is in place of the dresser, I can put the desk there, and I can get a one of those beds where they’ve got drawers underneath of it. The ceiling is high enough that I can put shelves near the top for even more storage.

I collapse onto the bed, satisfied with my list of ideas, but once again the bad thoughts return. I curl up on my side, my eyes on the pasty blue walls, but I see nothing. My hand crawls its way up my sweater sleeve and begins to scratch the length of my arm. The pain takes away the tightness in my chest, helping me breathe.

 

I think I fall asleep sometime later. The fullness in my bladder demands I get up. Groggy, I tiptoe to the bathroom down the hall at the top of the stairs. Once finished, noises coming from downstairs spark my curiosity, and I follow them to the kitchen.

Bella is busy making lasagna, going back and forth across the small space from the cupboards to the stove and to the fridge. I stand at the corner of the archway, creeping around the corner. Luckily, she doesn’t notice me, and so I just watch her. I don’t want to introduce myself quite yet.

She’s pretty. Taking after her dad, she has long chestnut brown hair that’s twisted into a messy bun on the top of her head. I can’t see her eyes directly, but they’re dark. Brown, maybe? She’s slim and quite pale. Not my kind of pale where I’m white but still have some pink peachiness to my skin, but like an I-haven’t-seen-the-sun-in-years kind of pale.

“Do you need any help?” I ask.

She jumps back and drops the container of ricotta cheese she’d been holding. “Jesus!”

“Shit, man, sorry,” I say. I come forward and pick up the cheese. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Her brown – yes, I was right – eyes scan me briefly, taking in my thick… everything, before concentrating on my face. “You’re… Melissa, right?”

“Melisa,” I correct her.

“Sorry,” she says.

“It’s okay. Happens a lot.”

She laughs once. “I understand. People usually call me Isabella, instead of Bella.”

I nod and raise my eyebrows, pretending that I understand exactly what it’s like to have someone call me by my full name when instead I want to use a nickname, like they should know already. “Oh, yeah. Totally. Sucks balls.”

She mirrors my expression, smiling.

“But, yeah, do you need slash want any help?” I ask again.

“Oh, um, could you set the table?” She gestures to the small round table by the window.

“Sure, if you tell me where the plates and utensils are.”

She points to the cabinet near the fridge. “Plates are there. Forks and knives are in that drawer.”

“Okie dokie,” I say and get busy laying out the necessities. When I’m finished, I ask again if she wants me to do anything, but she says no, so I pull out one of the chairs and sit. I twiddle my thumbs and puff out my cheeks repeatedly, bored and feeling awkward as fuck.

“So…” I say after a minute or two. “What grade are you in?”

“I’m a junior,” she says. “You?”

“Same… and you’re… seventeen?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice. I won’t be until March.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” She doesn’t say anything more, but I’m going to keep asking her questions now that the ice has broken. “What’s Forks like?”

“Um… Really small.”

More silence.

Jesus fuck, it’s like talking to a fucking wall.

I try to think of more interesting questions. Like… “Any cute guys?”

She blushes a little. Like, actual redness flushes her cheeks. Bingo. “A few.”

“Oh?” I lean forward and waggle my eyebrows. “Do tell.”

“Well… there’s the truly gorgeous guys, the Cullens. They’re all, like, adoptive siblings, and they’re beautiful.”

“Alright, nice, nice, go on.”

“Um… I-I guess another cute guy would be Mike Newton.”

“Hm… Mike Newton,” I ponder aloud. “Judging by name alone, he sounds like a sport guy.”

“He… wears a… a letterman’s jacket.”

“Ha! So I was right.”

“Yep,” she says. “I don’t know what he plays though.”

I smile triumphantly. “It doesn’t matter.”

She had finished placing the layers of meat and sauce and cheese. Before she puts the dish in the pre-heated oven, she covers the top in tinfoil. She pulls out her phone and sets the timer to forty-five minutes. I get up help to her put left over ingredients back in the fridge. 

We migrate into the living room. She sits on the couch and I sit in a chair. We stare at each other awkwardly for a few minutes until I drag my eyes away and look around the room. My attention is drawn to the line of pictures on the fire place mantle. They consist mostly of Bella as she grew up. There’s even one of a very young, mustache-less Charlie standing in front of the house with a red-haired woman and an infant. Must be Renee with Bella. There’s even a picture of Charlie by a river holding a particularly large fish.

“Oh, don’t look at those,” Bella says, embarrassed. “They’re terrible. I’ve told him he should take those down.”

My eyes go back to her. “Why? He loves you… and that fish, too.”

She briefly laughs at my joke. “I guess.”

I can tell we’re about to go into another silent session, so I quickly jump in. “So tell me more about the… the cute guys you mentioned before?”

“Um, there’s Jasper and Emmett. They’re seniors, but they could definitely pass as college kids. The other one is Edward and he’s my table partner in Bio.”

I waggle my eyebrows again. “Ooh. What’s he like?”

“Uh… He doesn’t talk much, but he’s very polite… He’s also really smart…”

“Hm… Interesting… Smart guys… very hot.”

“Totally,” she says, and then she leans forward a little, like she’s about to tell me some kind of secret. “But like… the thing about the Cullens… they’re like… different.”

“Different how?”

“They all look the same, but then they don’t, you know?”

“No?”

“They’re all ridiculously pale – paler than me. And I’ve got Albino blood in me.”

“Well, you do live in a sunless town.”

“I know, but like… I don’t know. You’ll have to see them yourself to understand, I guess.”

“Oh… kay.” As uninteresting as Bella seems to be, she’s really into the Cullens. She probably has a crush on all of them. Or at least the last one she talked about. I don’t even remember his name. But whatever, I’ll probably have a crush on them too if they’re that beautiful. Hey, judge all you want, but at least I know myself.

I don’t really have anything else to say to her, but I don’t want to be rude… I think. I look at my phone and give her the excuse that I need to go charge it. It’s not completely untrue. It does need to be charged. I only feel a little guilty because I used it to get away from her… her boringness. Once in my room, I close the door, and rummage through my backpack until I find the charger and plug it in.

As I sit alone in the darkening room, my mind jumps back to the pictures on the mantle, and my throat tightens. It’s a reminder that Bella still has her parents. I lie down and close my eyes, focusing on breathing deeply so I don’t cry.

I don’t realize how long I’m doing this until Bella knocks on my door to tell me that the lasagna is ready. Assuring her I’ll be right down, I sit up. The enticing scent of food wafts into my room and my stomach expresses how much it needs to be fed. I know I need food, but… I can’t help but stare at the floor. Maybe I’m just tired, but I don’t want to move. Going down stairs seems impossible.

And yet, I somehow find myself on my feet, carrying me downstairs to the kitchen. Charlie is already seated, so is Bella, and both of them are eating. Before I sit, I ask about water. Charlie tells me where the cups are, and I fill one up from the door dispenser. When I sit down, I grab the spatula and transfer a square of the steaming lasagna onto my plate. I keep my eyes on my food, slowly feeding myself with small bites.

“So, Melisa, you’ll start school on Monday, okay?” Charlie says, and I look up from my plate. “You’ll go with Bella, and she’ll tell you where you need to go.”

“Okay.” I focus on my food again. Today is Saturday, and so I have tonight and all of Sunday to mentally prepare myself for starting fresh at Forks High School. Fantastic… not.


	2. Edward the Weirdo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melisa has her first encounter with our resident angsty serial killer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey again. also, this chapter has really shitty tenses. I'm sorry. I'm trying to find a Beta. If you'd like to volunteer, hit me up.

Monday morning finally rolls around and I am so not ready. I tried desperately all of Sunday to predict the most likely scenarios for today. Towards Exhaustion Time™, I had finally managed to reassure myself that everything would be okay, but now that I’m wide awake, I’m going to have to start all over again. What a bitch.

I finish getting ready before Bella, and so I wait in her ancient truck. Apparently, it was like a homecoming gift from Charlie. I like the aesthetic, but when she finally comes out and starts it, the engine literally groans to life. As if it’s just as unhappy to be awake as I was.

Forks High School is weird. Instead of all the classrooms and offices being in one big building like my last school, they’re spread out across campus into smaller buildings. I hope Bella will at least point me in the right direction.

When we get to the school, she leads me to the office, and the red-headed receptionist behind the counter perks up at our arrival.

“Bella! Is this your cousin?” she says, her eyes bright with interest.

Bella responds with a very quiet, “Yeah.” The receptionist flips through a stack of papers and when she found what she was looking for, she turns to me.

“Melissa?” she reads off the paper.

“Melisa.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear,” she says, and hands me the collection of papers. “Here’s your schedule, and a map, though I’m sure Bella would be happy to show you to your classes.” Both of our eyes go to Bella, who silently nods. “And on this sheet, I need you to get each of your teachers to sign by their name, and bring it back to me at the end of the day.”

“Alright,” I say, and as we leave, I go over my classes. Luckily, they’re the same as the ones I was taking back home.

We have some time before class begins, and so we sit at one of the tables in the court yard. I lay out the map and my schedule side by side so that Bella can tell me which buildings I need to go to.

It isn’t long before a blond guy wearing a letterman jacket comes and sits next to Bella, greeting her. This must be Mike Newton. He folds his arms and looks expectantly between the two of us.

“So, Bella, aren’t you going to introduce us?” he says.

“Um, yeah, this is my cousin, Melisa,” she says.

“Mel-LEE-sa?” he says, and laughs a little. “I’ve never heard that before.”

“Totes,” I say. I wonder if he can hear my sarcasm.

“I’m Mike,” he continues, smirking for some odd reason.

“Hi.” I don’t say anything more. More people show up at our table, and I’m introduced to each one. I’m up front with them and tell them I probably wouldn’t remember their names and that they shouldn’t worry about that too much. It’s nothing personal. I’m just shit with names.

The day passes slowly. I feel like I’m sticking out like a sore thumb, and everyone’s eyes are on me. I hate being the new kid. All of my teachers make me introduce myself in front of the class, and of course I have to correct people on the pronunciation of my name every time.

When lunch comes, I catch up with Bella and sit with her and her friends. I don’t eat anything, because in all honesty, the thought of eating actually makes me sick. Bella’s friends interrogate me about my day so far, but when I keep giving them one word answers, they give up. I wind up just watching them interact, and it brings forth the homesickness I already have welling inside. I don’t want to talk to these new people. I want my friends. I want to go home.

At the thought of home, I want to cry. Home isn’t home anymore.

Sometime while I’m lost in my depression, Bella nudges me with her elbow.

“That’s the Cullens.”

I look in the direction she’s referring to, and holy fucking shit. She was so not kidding when she said that they were beautiful. Practically perfect is what they are. Even the two girls – whom she conveniently forgot to mention – are stunning. Lemme tell you, if I swung that way, holy fuck, I’d totally dream about them. I feel embarrassed to even exist in a world where they exist. With my fat ass, there’s no question who’d ever have the upper hand in like, anything. It’d be them. All the fucking way.

“Hot damn,” I say, and softer, only to Bella, “Which is the one that you like?”

She blushes. “Edward, the one with coppery hair.”

I look back at their table, trying to stare without staring. Edward was definitely attractive. All my horny ass wanted to do was discover what his lips and hands felt like on me, and for a moment, I let my thoughts run wild, trying to vividly imagine exactly that. I’m only pulled away from those lovely thoughts when Bella continues talking about them.

“The really muscly one is Emmett, and the other is Jasper. The short girl is Alice, and the blond is Rosalie.”

“Why do they all look so constipated?” I ask. When I say that, because my eyes are on Edward’s face, I see the corner of his mouth briefly lift in an almost smile. Can he hear me? Or is it just coincidence? They look like they’ve all been fighting an intense battle with insomnia. Dark circles under their eyes, and their skin is paler than snow. They all have the same pitch black eyes, and that’s weird because they don’t look anything alike. “How are they all siblings?”

“They’re not,” Bella continues. “Well, Jasper and Rosalie are, but they’re all adopted.”

“Hm. Okay.” I will give Bella credit for one thing, though. They definitely are… different. It isn’t just the fact that all of them are beautiful, because you know, they are. It’s… something else. I can’t quite put my finger on it though, and that’s okay. I don’t care enough. I was just enjoying looking at them. Also my thoughts keep flickering to that image of Edward’s lips on mine.

Well, at least until Edward’s dark eyes zero in on mine. I’m feeling brave enough to stare back. Instead I turn my attention back to the rest of my table. Okay, I only _pretend_ to pay attention to them. In my peripheral vision I keep my focus on Edward still. He doesn’t stop staring at me. On any other day, I’d probably feel my face heat up if a cute guy was staring at me, because that doesn’t normally happen. But today, with Edward, I don’t know. Beyond the constipated expression, he also looks a little frustrated. Shit. Why me? With my luck, he’s probably a serial killer and he’s imagining bludgeoning me with some kind of sharp… thing.

Whatever, fuck him.

Lunch ends, and Mike Newton, whom I share the final class of the day with, leads me to the classroom. It’s English, and I hear we’re doing group work. We get there, and I have the teacher sign my slip before I take a seat near the back. People file in, and like every class before, they all notice that I’m there, hyperaware of my existence.

“Don’t worry,” Mike says from his desk in front of mine. Something in my expression must’ve prompted him to speak. “They’re all just staring at you because you’re new.”

“People are only new for a day,” I tell him. “After that they’re just people.”

He nods and his face lights up like I’ve just said the most interesting thing he’s ever heard when I was actually just quoting a movie. “Wow, that’s so deep.”

I think I mean to reply with “Balls deep” but Edward Cullen entering the room takes my attention away from Mike. He keeps his eyes elsewhere as he makes his way down the aisle to his seat… which happens to be behind me, in the next row. Shit.

Yup, I know myself. I’ve already got a crush on the guy.

Eventually class starts and the teacher instructs us to get into our groups. Before I can even ask her what she wants me to do, she tells me to go work with Edward. All the other groups were full, and he was by himself. As everybody moves to get with their people, I take a deep breath and turn my desk around so that I’m facing him.

From the moment I’m settled, something about him changes. His dark eyes are heavily concentrated on my face and his entire body iss screaming with tension, his hand gripping the edge of the desk until his knuckles are white. Despite the anxiety that his beauty gives me, I become defensive. Maybe I was right about the serial killer thing.

“What the fuck’s _your_ problem?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything. In fact, I don’t even think he’s breathing, holding it for whatever reason. Then he blinks and that somehow snaps him out of his funk.

“Nothing. Excuse me.” He shoots to his feet, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He goes to the teacher and asks for a pass to the nurse. He’s out of the classroom before the inks had time to dry.

What. The. _Fuck?_

 

After Edward the Weirdo leaves, the teacher gives me the papers I’d need to work on the project on my own for the period. I don’t even do anything. I just draw doodles on the paper because it makes me look busy.

When the bell rings for dismissal, I’m the first one out of the door and I make a beeline for the office. I want to get out of this hellhole ASAP.

Who do I run into when I enter the office? If you guessed Edward, you’d be right. His hands are braced on the countertop as he leans close to the receptionist. It’s no surprise to find her as befuddled by his face like the rest of us are.

“Please, Mrs. Cope?” His voice is smooth and hot as hell. I’m ready to do whatever the fuck he wants. “Isn’t there something that can be done? Seventh hour English can’t be the only option…”

He’s trying to get out of our English class? It can’t be because of me… can it? What the fuck did I do besides fucking _exist?_

He must’ve fuckin smiled at her or something because she blubbers the rest of her speech. “W-well, maybe I could talk to Sue – I mean Mrs. Campbell. I could see if – “

With a sudden gust of wind, some chick slips into the office, placing a note into a basket on the counter, then leaves as quickly as she came. Edward turns and looks at me over his shoulder, and the expression in his eyes is furious and… scary.

He turns back to her and the change in his demeanor frightens her, too. She shrinks back, gasping.

“Never mind, then,” he says, rushing through the words. “I can see that it’s impossible. Thank you so much for your help.” Then he spins and launches himself from the room, passing within inches of me.

When the door clasps shut in his wake, Mrs. Cope shakes off the fearful experience with ease. I step forward and give her the signature slip. She asks me how my first day went. I reply with a quick, “fine” and exit the scene.

My mind is completely overcome with the look Edward gave me. Like holy shit was it scary, but also… hot as fuck? I’m confused, turned on, and still shaken from that whole experience.

I meet Bella by her truck and the entire way home, I can’t rid his face from my head. I keep replaying everything that happened between me and him. From the stares during lunch to the wack look he gave me in the office, it was all so fuckin weird, and I can’t help but wonder why. Maybe I can chalk it all up to the possibility that he was just having a pretty bad damn day.


	3. First Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melisa tries to settle into her new home, and has an actual conversation with Edward the Weirdo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, my tenses are super shitty, and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry the beginning of this chapter is pretty boring, but it is necessary info.

The rest of the week Edward Cullen doesn’t come back to school. If he hadn’t so pointedly been hating on me, and, let’s be honest, if he wasn’t so beautiful, I wouldn’t have cared that he was gone. I wouldn’t have even mentioned it if it weren’t for the fact that it was the most interesting thing to happen to me. Moving here doesn’t count as interesting, or even exciting, just sad.

I thought about mentioning my weird exchanges with Edward to Bella, but I decided against it. She has a hardcore crush on the guy. She’s been here for a month and hasn’t made any progress with him. I’ve been here not even a week and I’ve already got more to say than she does. I don’t want her to feel any jealousy about it, because I’m almost positive it’s not because he likes me or anything. I just think he’s a fucking serial killer, and I haven’t known Bella long, but I’m sure she’d find that romantic. And I would really like to avoid that awkward conversation as long as humanly possible.

The weekend comes and I’ve got my shopping list prepared. Charlie has to go to work for a few hours, and Bella has agreed to take me to Port Angeles. She’s dull, but I’m glad for her silent company. Plus, she has a truck. Not everything fits into a car.

We jump from store to store until I have everything I need. The last stop we make is the grocery store in Forks for the next two weeks’ food supply. When we get home, Charlie is back and he tells me that my bins have arrived. He also helps me move my purchases to the hall outside of my door. I’ve already removed the spare bed frame they had and with Charlie’s battery powered screwdriver, I get to work assembling my new one. Once that’s finished, I place the box spring and mattress on and make the bed. Next is my desk. I quickly finish that too and move it into place. By the time I’ve arranged what clothes I brought with me into the drawers under the bed, Bella calls for supper.

Because it’s only fair, I’ve assigned myself the role dish washer after supper, and whatever meals Bella made for me. I’m gonna try to earn my keep, at least. This isn’t home yet, just a place where I live.

After I’ve put the clean dishes away, I drag my bins upstairs one by one. I’m not ready to empty them yet, but I might as well have them ready for me. I put up my shelves first, insisting to Charlie that I don’t need any help, no matter how untrue it actually is. I want to do it myself, just like I do everything else. It gives me a sense of accomplishment when I’m done. Like heck yeah I did that.

I open the bin with my desk stuff first, pulling out all of the crap I use for journaling and my writing. This also includes the semi-massive semi-impressive collection of books I have. I put those up on the shelves. In the second bin I’ve got more clothes, so I tuck them away in the drawers, shoes lined against the wall. The next bin has the things I wanted to keep from my family. All the photo albums, some of my mom’s jewelry, my brother’s Nintendo 3DS, and from my dad, I kept a shit ton of the family videos, but they were in another bin that had my small entertainment system and the rest of my movies. I plan to mount the TV on the wall space next to the door, the Blue-Ray player on the shelf above it.

I get distracted while looking at the photo albums, and I cry myself to sleep with a page opened to our most recent family picture.

 

Monday dares to show its ugly head to me. All day Sunday I busied myself putting the rest of my shit in its place. The entire weekend I hadn’t given a single fucking thought to Edward Cullen and his serial killer behavior until his coppery hair caught my attention during lunch. He’s back. That makes me… nervous?

As I wait in line for food with Bella and Mike, I try to catch glimpses of him and his table. He’s smiling, laughing at something one of his people said. Last Monday I hadn’t seen him smile at Mrs. Cope because his back was turned. Now that I have… God, he’s gorgeous. I wonder what his laugh sounds like.

“Edward’s back,” Bella mentions to me. I drag my eyes away from the Cullen’s table to her face. She’s looking at him, and in her face is longing.

“Yeah, I know,” I say. I take a deep breath and give my attention to getting lunch, pushing Bella along the line to catch up. I shouldn’t have bought anything though. When we sit at our table, nothing is appetizing anymore.

“Are you not going to eat?” Mike asks me.

I shake my head. “Nah. Lost my appetite.” I push my tray away and fold my arms across my chest, resting them on the table. Laughter from the Cullens makes me look up at them. At least that’s what I tell myself. There’s laughter all around this rundown cafeteria, but the only group drawing my attention is theirs. Mid-laugh, Edward’s eyes slide directly to mine, and I don’t look away, not immediately. He holds my gaze long enough for me to see the difference there. Instead of the blackness from last week, his eyes are now a light, golden color.

I don’t know why I do this, but I lean towards Bella next to me, and say, “Edward Cullen is staring at you.”

“What? Really?” she says. No, he’s still staring at me, but I’d hoped that more attention his way would make him look away. But he doesn’t.

“I don’t think he’s staring at me,” she continues. “He’s staring at you.”

Yikes. She can tell, too? Dang, I thought it was only me. I make it a point not to look at him, and I look only at Bella’s flushed face.

“But _why?_ ” I ask. “I haven’t done shit fuck to him.”

“Maybe he likes you.” Her voice is… depressed. Double yikes. This is exactly what I feared. His serial killer interests were confusing her.

“The Cullens don’t like anybody,” Mike jumps in. “Well, they don’t notice anybody enough to like them.” He glances over his shoulder at them. “I don’t like the way he’s staring at you.”

“Yuck.” I stand, taking my tray of uneaten food with me. “I’m just gonna go to class.” Hopefully, he had talked to Mrs. Cope some more about getting his schedule changed, and he’d be away from me. I dump my tray and leave.

When I arrive to class, the desks had already been moved into groups. I sit at the smallest cluster in the back, my butt in the desk that would put my back to the wall and give me a comfortable view of the room. I don’t know why it makes me feel easier knowing I can see everything that’s happening in the room, but it does.

Because Edward had been gone all last week, I had made my own plans for the project. The assignment is to create a presentation for whatever book we were given. I was lucky to receive a book I’ve already read and honestly adore, _Pride & Prejudice_. During class I had wrote out what I wanted on each slide while still covering the requirements. At home I worked on the PowerPoint. As the rest of the class was filling their seats, I pull out my work and focus on it.

It bothers me that I can tell exactly when Edward enters the room. Maybe it’s just my survival instincts letting me know that danger is near. I don’t look up as he sits down in a desk across from me, but instead pretend to concentrate on my slides.

“Hello,” he says quietly.

Holy shiiiit. I look up at him, sitting up straighter in my desk. His voice is… woah. I mean, I’ve heard it before, but for whatever reason it stops me from speaking. As does his face. And his eyes. His everything.

“My name is Edward Cullen,” he continues. His golden eyes are so fucking beautiful. “I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Melisa Lynn.”

At the correct pronunciation of my name, I snap back to reality, my mind clearing. “You know my name?”

“Yeah,” he says slowly, but then chuckles. “No one’s stopped talking about you since you got here.”

“I meant how to say it correctly. Everyone calls me Melissa at first.” He got it right on the first try. Maybe he’s been asking about me? Why does my chest warm at the thought of that? Wasn’t it only last week – no, today that I’d been so sure he wanted to kill me? Maybe this is his play. How he lures his victims.

Whatever it is, it’s fucking working. The images I’d had before of making out with flash across my mind.

“Oh,” he says limply, looking down. He leans back and glances around the room, briefly watching the other groups as they talk. I take the opportunity to admire his jawline, but I also notice when he takes a deep, shuddering breath before bringing his eyes back to me.

He smiles. _Shit._

“Have you been working on the project at all?” he asks.

I sigh and look down at my papers. “Yeah. With no help from you, buddy.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wasn’t feeling well enough to attend class.”

“Oh.” He was sick? Well, I guess even ridiculously attractive serial killers get sick. But anyways, “It’s fine. Sorry.”

“No, it was impolite. I should have – “

“Dude,” I say, interrupting him. “If you’re sick, you’re sick. No need to apologize.”

He nods slowly, his eyes still on me. “Alright.”

“The real question is; did you have anything done before I got here?” I say. “Like, moved here.”

He smiles sheepishly. “Actually, I already have it completed.”

I sigh heavily. “Of course you do. Why do I even try?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I guess I assumed you’d procrastinate till the last minute like the rest of us.”

“Well, it is due on Friday.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t remind me.”

“Do you not like public speaking?” He’s teasing me. I can tell by the little humorous smirk he’s got on his dumb pretty face.

“Do you?” I ask.

“I’ve gotten used to it.”

"I see…” Why does he keep looking at me? I mean, I know we’re having a conversation, but can he at least give me a break from his golden stare? Speaking of… “Did you get contacts?”

“No.”

“Oh,” I say. There goes that theory. Had I just imagined that he’d had black eyes? “I thought there was something different about your eyes.”

His eyes finally look beyond me, at a poster on the wall perhaps, and he shrugs.

During our conversation, I hadn’t noticed that the teacher was going around to all of the groups, checking their progress. When she stops at our cluster, I’m happy to have her there, as if she’s an excuse for me not to talk to Edward.

“So how are you guys coming along?” she asks. Her voice is overly chipper.

“Almost done,” I say. “We have the presentation planned out on paper here, and on Wednesday we’re going to organize it onto the PowerPoint slides.”

I’d always been impressed by how easily white lies came spilling out of my mouth. Even though most of what I said was true, some of it wasn’t. Like how I did it myself, no team effort.

“I hope Jane Austen’s been kind to you,” she says. There was something in her voice that makes it sound like she’s talking down to me. What a bitch. “I know that it is a bit difficult to understand when reading it for the first time.”

Definitely a bitch.

“Actually, I’ve read all of Austen’s works. _Pride & Prejudice_ especially. It’s my favorite. I know the plot like I do the back of my hand.” I’m happy to see her smug face drop for a moment.

“Lucky for you then,” she says quickly, turning to leave. She smiles at Edward, and he smiles politely in return.

“So…” he says, smirking. He leans forward, his lopsided smile meeting his eyes. “What time did you want me to come over on Wednesday?”

Shit. Double shit. Triple shit. Quadruple _shit_.

“Uh…” I don’t know how to respond. Do I actually want him over? With me? Am I allowed to have boys over? I mean, I know that this is strictly a homework situation, but aaahhh. I suddenly put that whole make out scene in my newly decorated room, and honestly it freaks me out in like a nervous excited way. How could my characterization of him as a serial killer be slipping so fast?

“Uh,” I say again. “Right after school?”

“That’s fine with me.”

“Alright. Um – oh – okay.” Fuck. I’m starting to stutter like Bella.

With nothing else to do for the period, and honestly as something to busy myself with, I slip my papers away into my backpack. Reluctantly I turn back to face him. He had leaned back in the desk and is staring at me again. I drum my fingers on the desk.

“How are you liking the weather?” he says. His expression shows interest, and I have to wonder if he’s just being polite or if he seriously cares about my answer.

I inhale deeply before responding. “I like it. I’ve always loved rain.”

“The cold, too?” he guesses.

“Yeah. It’s a great excuse for me to run around the house in a blanket like I’m five.”

He releases a short laugh, and I’m not sure if it’s demeaning or not. “You must like living in Forks, then.”

“It’s okay, I guess,” I answer honestly, and I try to hide the sadness in my voice. I start like I’m about to say more, but I decide against it. He doesn’t need to know the dreary woes of my life.

Edward’s eyebrows meet and his head titles slightly. “What?”

“Nothing, I just…” Fuck it. “I miss home a lot.”

He nods in understanding. “You’re from the East Coast, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s quite a transition. Why did you move?” He sounds almost accusatory.

“Uh… I didn’t really have any choice in the matter.”

“How so?”

“It’s… complicated.”

“Try me,” he insists.

Instead of answer, I break his stare, looking down at my hands. While unpacking this weekend, I had found my mother’s wedding ring. I wore it now, twisting it in circles on my finger.

“My… parents and little brother died in a car crash,” I admit softly. I don’t look up at him. I don’t need his sympathy. I’ve had enough.

He doesn’t reply immediately. Waiting until my eyes flicker up to his, he says, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” My eyes go back to my hands. I concentrate on ignoring the pain that had developed in my chest. My fingers curved with the need to scratch my arm. If Edward hadn’t been sitting in front of me, I’d have done what my hands wanted, so instead I focus on breathing deeply. In through my nose, out through my mouth, and repeat. I don’t want him to see me struggle.

“When did that happen?” he asks gently.

“I think it’s been a month.” I exhale heavily – not quite a sigh. “But you know what? It’s fine. I’m good. We’re good. Just fine.”

His concerned look doesn’t go away at my rushed reassurances. “You put on a good show,” he says slowly, “but I’d be willing to bet you’re suffering more than you let anyone see.”

I make a face, trying to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“Am I wrong?”

I speak softly. “No.”

That makes him smile. “I didn’t think so.”

Asshole. “What’s it to you?” I demand. “Why do you care?”

“That’s a very good question,” he admits.

I sigh again, this time more in frustration than anything else. I can’t fathom why he’s interested in anything having to do with me. My eyes choose the back of Mike’s head to glower at.

He smiles. “Am I annoying you?”

I glance at him quickly, but my eyes become trapped in his gaze. “No,” I say. “Okay, well, maybe a little bit, but I’m mostly annoyed with myself. I’ve been trying not to be an open book.”

“On the contrary,” he says. “I find you very difficult to read.”

“Well, I’d hate to make it too easy,” I say half-heartedly. “Trying my best to be mysterious here, you know. Maybe give a master reader such as yourself a little challenge.”

I find myself giggling at my own absurdity. When he responds with a wide smile, I’m mesmerized by his beauty. Fuckin’ hell, man.

When the teacher calls the class’s attention, I didn’t realize how soon it would be until class would be over. Like a minute before the bell rang for dismissal, I quickly write my cell number on a torn piece of paper and offer it to him.

“Here,” I say. “It’s my cell. Text me.”

He keeps his face blank and reaches for the paper. During the exchange, our fingers touch briefly and our eyes meet. His fingers were cold as fuck despite the warm temperature of the room. When the bell rings, he quickly leaves, and I see him shove the paper in his pocket.


	4. It's Always the Quiet Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melisa embarrasses herself, sends Edward memes, and almost dies. Literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yo, I know that this chapter is pretty long and... I don't know. I don't think it's boring, but I also wrote it. lmao. Again the tenses are all fucked up. and yes, I do know that some of what happens in this chapter is almost directly from the original text, but there's nothing I can really do. whether it's me or bella, the descriptions and conversations are the same.
> 
> EDITED: June 28 2018

As had become the norm this past week, while waiting for Bella to come from her gym class, I stood by her truck. Sometimes a good fifteen – twenty minutes would pass before she would finally show her face in the parking lot. It doesn’t bother me mostly. I know that her attention has been taken by Mike who follows her around like a puppy. An extremely horny puppy, but a puppy nonetheless.

Today, though, I was particularly anxious to leave, and the reason for that was Edward Cullen. His stupid self was sitting in his car. I wouldn’t have noticed him if it weren’t for the death metal he was blaring at unsafe levels. His silver Volvo was across the parking lot, but I could hear every word. Well, as much I could hear and understand screamo, anyway, but to each his own.

Earlier I had made the mistake of looking for the source of the music. When I had spotted him, he was already looking right at me. I quickly looked away, down at my phone, as if I suddenly had a notification for something.

I tried to be a cool kid and leaned against the side of Bella’s truck. My foot resting on the tire, my arms crossed, and a bored expression on my face. I don’t know if I was able to fool anyone, but at least as the parking lot cleared, no one came to talk to me. Out of the corner of my eye I kept trying to sneak peaks of Edward. Whenever I did, I found his golden eyes still staring at me. Yikes.

Why was he just sitting there? And why the fuck was he staring at me? School’s over, why doesn’t he just go home already? I stood there suffering, occasionally switching the foot I had on the tire.

And, of course, luck is not on my side when the skies start to rain. Shit man. I may have said I loved the rain, but actually being in the rain? Yuck. I prefer to experience rain from an open window, or from behind a screen door. The sweater I had on today wasn’t rainproof and I had no umbrella.

When Edward’s fam files into his car, I realize that’s why he’d been waiting. I’d been so concentrated on the one Cullen that I’d forgotten the rest existed. I give a sigh of relief when the Volvo speeds past me and into traffic.

Bella finally appears in the breezeway between the buildings, and Mike is with her. She says goodbye to him and comes to the truck, her arm shielding her face from the rain.

On the way home, she says, “Edward Cullen talked to me today in Bio.”

I try to measure my reaction in my tone. “Did he?”

“Yeah. He wanted to know why I moved here, and he seems really interested in me.”

I frown, more so at myself than at her. I’m concerned by the tang of jealousy I feel. I may think about making out with him constantly, but I don’t want to date him. He might’ve seemed okay today, but he could still be a serial killer, and I haven’t entirely ruled that out. But why did it concern me? It shouldn’t. I have no claim on him.

 “You must be excited,” I say.

“Oh, I am. Can’t you tell?”

Actually, no, I couldn’t. Her voice was still as dull as a spoon. “Um, sure,” I say, throwing in some fake enthusiasm. Oh, shit. I gotta tell her about Wednesday.

“So,” I start out. “He’s actually coming over on Wednesday.”

“Who?”

“… Edward.”

She’s silent. Too silent. I look over at her, and she opens her mouth to speak.

“W-why?”

“We’re partners for this English presentation on Pride and Prejudice. He’s coming over so we can throw the PowerPoint together.”

“Oh my god,” she says. “Do you like him?”

“Mmm, no,” I say quickly. “I have it under good authority to believe that he’s a serial killer.”

She laughs. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I don’t know, man,” I shrug. “It could happen.”

“It’s just that – he’s, he’s not. It’s impossible. Like, seriously.”

“Why do you doubt my masterful skills as an investigator?”

“ _Because_ ,” she says, “he’s – he’s sweet, and quiet – “

“It’s always the quiet, sweet ones,” I interrupt. “Have you not seen American Psycho?”

“No, I haven’t,” she says. She seems firm in her assumptions about him, just like I am about mine… mostly.

I keep my tone light. “Fine, if you wanna have a crush on Forks’ resident serial killer, be my guest. But I’m telling you right now, don’t come running to me when he comes after you with a fucking switchblade. I’m gonna be the one that survives this bad joke of a horror movie.”

We pull into the driveway of the house, and I’m inside before she’s had time to get out herself.

 

Later that night, I’m lying in bed, literally doing nothing, when my phone dings. It’s a text from an unknown number.

E: _Hello. This is Edward Cullen._

My heart speeds. Holy shit, he’s texting me. I reply with a simple, _hey_.

E: _How are you this evening?_

M: _uhhh. bored. u?_

E: _I feel the same, actually._

M: _dope._

He doesn’t reply back.

M: _did u have a question about the project?_

His reply is immediate. Maybe he just didn’t know what else to say? Or how to say it? E:  _On Wednesday,_ _did you want me to bring my work on a flash drive or printed?_

M: _flash drive would be easiest._

E: _Okay. I will have it ready._

M: _ok cool._

I don’t know what else to say, but I didn’t want the conversation to stop. I’m gonna go ahead and assume it was my lonely ass that just wanted some kind of company, but I send him a picture.

M:

 

He doesn’t respond, but ✓ Read 11: 02 PM. I decide to send him another one from my arsenal.

M:

Again, he doesn’t respond. ✓ Read 11:09 PM.

M: _lmao these are funny and you know it_ I send.

E: _They are._

M: _aha! he speaks._

He doesn’t say anymore, but I continue anyways.

M:

_ _

_✓_ Read 11:15 PM.

M:

   

✓ Read 11:19 PM.

M: _look buddy ole pal, imma keep sending these until you respond._

I bark out a laugh when he responds with this:

E:

_ _

M: _holy fucking shit man nice lmao ✓_  Read 11: 21 PM. Before I can respond with more, he beats me to it.

E:

I send, _fuck yeah_ , along with this:

✓ Read 11: 36 PM.

Then I send, _#me_.

 _How is that you?_ he questions.

Fuck. I'd semi love to tell him that I'm Darcy and he's Elizabeth, but I can't. It's fucking weird. I don't have a crush on him. At all. He's just beautiful. Lust at first sight I guess is what you'd call it.

M: _nothing nvm. goodnight._ I decide it's in my best interests to try to forget about this entire exchange. I plug my phone up to it's charger and drown in my blankets.

 

To my utmost horror and embarrassment, Edward Cullen invades my dreams. I’m not normally one who remembers my dreams, but this time I do, kind of.

He’s standing behind me for whatever reason, his face pressed into my hair. He’s speaking French. Personally, I think French is a gross ass language, but coming from him? In his voice? I’m melting. I have no idea what he’s saying, but I like hearing him say it.

Charlie wakes me up before my alarm, calling my name and awkwardly peeking his head through the door.

“Yeah, Charlie?” I ask sleepily, sitting up.

“Bella’s sick,” he says. “Do you want a ride from me or are you comfortable taking Bella’s truck?”

“I think I’ll be alright.”

“Alright. Be careful this morning. It’s gonna be icy.”

“Okay, thanks.” He closes the door and I lie back down, my eyes desperate for whatever bit of sleep I can manage to get before my alarm goes off.

             

When it it’s time to go to school, I drive carefully, and ridiculously slow. Last week Bella had begun explaining to me how to drive stick, and I’d only gotten a short evening’s worth of practice on their street. I’m still getting used to switching gears, and there’s ice like Charlie said. As I’m driving, one of the snow chains on the back driver’s side becomes loose. Fuck. I should’ve taken the ride from Charlie.

Surprisingly I still manage to get to school with time to spare before class. Pulling into the parking lot, I’m immediately aware of the Cullens standing by the Volvo. I park and carefully get out to check the tire in the back, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that Edward was staring at me again. I’d been right, one of the chain keepers had unhooked. I crouch down, trying not to slip on the patch of ice I was standing on. Of course I chose today to wear my only shoes with no traction.

As I’m trying to reattach the chains, tires squealing across pavement makes me look up. My eyes immediately find Edward’s, wide with horror, and I’m briefly struck with confusion before I turn to find the source of the noise.

A van, spinning out of control across the pavement, is coming straight for me. A futile attempt to flee is ruined by my shoes. As I try to stand, I slip on the ice and fall on my ass. My eyes don’t leave the van, and I know I won’t be able to move before it hits me.

Just before the van is going to crush me, I go flying out of its path. Something cold and strong has wrapped around my waist, tucked under my boobs, and it’s pulled me away. I’m still moving from the momentum and my head cracks against the pavement. The van crashes into the rear of the truck, bending like playdough against the sturdy metal. But it’s still moving, twisting itself, coming after me again.

“ _Fuck._ ”

Two pale hands shoot out protectively in front of me, forcing the van to shudder to a stop a foot from my face, and they leave a deep dent in the side of the van’s body. Then the hands move so fast they seem to blur. One grips under the body of the van, and the other is around my waist dragging me, swinging my legs around until they hit the tire of the car next to me. The van hits the ground with a groaning metallic thud, settling where, a second ago, my legs had been.

 There’s a moment of silence before an eruption of screams begin. I mostly hear Bella’s name being called. Only one person is saying my name, low and frantic in my ear.

“Melisa? Are you alright?”

I blink and focus on Edward Cullen’s face, a mere foot from mine. I don’t answer and look at the dented van smashed up against Bella’s truck, everything from just moments ago flashing across my memory. My breathing is shallow and my eyes are welling with tears. I know that if I try to speak, I’ll just sob instead.

But as the reality of what just happened solidifies, my face scrunches up, and the tears flow. My chest shutters from the sobs. The tears from the stress and shock of what just happened turned quickly into grief tears. For a few moments it feels like I won’t ever be able to stop crying. I’m aware of Edward’s arm still wrapped around my waist, his grip turns from iron strong to gentle and comforting. As I’m crying, his other hand tenderly tucks my head into the crook of his neck, my hair providing a barrier between his skin and mine.

I don’t cry for long. My black eyeliner has mixed with my tears and starts to make my eyes sting, so I take off my glasses and rub my eyes into my gloved fists. I focus on breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down.

“I’m sorry,” I manage to say. “For crying.”

“There’s no need to apologize. Are you alright?” Edward asks again.

“Yeah,” I say without looking at him. “I’ll be fine.”

I put my glasses back on, not caring how awful my eyes are gonna look now, because I’m sure I didn’t get all the makeup off. I’m still in his arms, so I try to get out of them, but he doesn’t let me.

“Be careful,” he warns. “I think you hit your head pretty hard.”

“Yeah, it hurts a little bit,” I say softly. I put my hand up to where the pain is and feel a lump forming. My eyes scan his face, coming to a stop at his eyes. “How did you get over here so fast?”

They harden as he stares back into mine. When he speaks, his tone is serious. “I was standing right next to you, Melisa.”

I ignore the way my heart flutters when he says my name. At least the best I can while I’m in his arms with his face less than a foot from mine.

“But… I saw you over by your car when I got here.”

“Yes, I was,” he says. “But then I walked over to you after you parked.”

Maybe I didn’t notice that. I had been a bit preoccupied with the tire and trying not to slip on the ice. I could have missed him. But still, what he said doesn’t coincide with my memory.  I struggle to move again, and this time he lets me go. He slides as far away from me as he can in the small enclosed space.

“But I know what I saw,” I say firmly as I sit up. “You were across the lot – nowhere near me.”

“No, I wasn’t.” His face is… concerned. I sigh heavily, frustrated. I tear my eyes away from his face and eye the spot on the van where his hands had made a dent.

“Fine. Then explain how you did _that_.” I gesture to the dent. His eyes slide to the damage and for an instant I can see realization on his face before it hardens again. He narrows his eyes. Why is he lying?

The accident is surrounded by students and now faculty. Everyone trying to peer through the damage to see the possible slaughter. They keep shouting my name until someone recognizes me, instead of Bella. I also hear the confused conversations about Edward, the surprise in their voices. There is talk of moving the van to get to us, but I know that I could just climb over the wreck. When I try to get to my feet, Edward’s hand on my shoulder holds me down.

“Just stay put for now.”

“But I’m fine,” I say. “I can climb out.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I sigh heavily again. “I’m not just going to sit here.”

I shake his hand off and use the truck step to help get my feet under me. Edward follows, springing to his feet. “I don’t think you should be moving,” he says.

“I don’t need to be babied just because I wacked my head on the ground,” I say, while stepping carefully towards the bed of the truck, my hand holding to the side. “With any luck, hopefully it knocked some sense into me.”

I glance up at his face. He doesn’t seem to appreciate the smart remark. Placing both hands on the ledge of the truck, I find footing on top of the tire and pull myself up, swinging my leg over. Once I’m on the truck, I cross to the other side and jump down. I turn to see Edward following me.

“I’m pretty sure you were by your car,” I say to him.  

He doesn’t answer until he’s standing next to me. “No, I wasn’t,” he says, his voice low.

“I know what I saw.”

“Melisa,” he said. UUUggghhh. Again my name plus his voice. “I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way.”

I almost straight out laugh at his blatant lie. “That’s definitely not what happened.”

He stares intensely at me. “Please, Melisa.”

Before I can respond, Mrs. Campbell has appeared beside us.

“Are you okay?” she asks. “The ambulance should be here any moment.”

“I’m fine,” I say. I look over across the truck at the van. The crowd had lessened around us but had moved towards the driver. “I’m sure whoever that was driving needs an ambulance more than I do.”

“She hit her head.”

Mrs. Campbell looks up at Edward in surprise, as if she just noticed that he was there. “Oh, well, we’ll make sure she gets checked out by an EMT.”

As soon as she says that, the ambulances pull into the parking lot, followed by a couple squad cars and a firetruck. The teachers usher the students out of the way to make room for the EMTs. I assumed that they’d be busy with the other driver, so I turn my back on Edward and go open the passenger door of the truck to get my backpack, cell phone, and keys out. When I turn back around, Edward’s gone, but I quickly find him over by an ambulance talking to a male paramedic. Edward gestures back to me and is soon coming back with him in tow, pushing a gurney.

“You hit your head in the accident, ma’am?” the paramedic asks, pulling out a flashlight from his breast pocket.

“Yeah, but I’m fine.”

“Look here.” He holds a finger up and slides the light over my eyes. “Let’s get you back to the hospital just to make sure.” He then grabs a neck brace and quickly straps it on me.

Seeing no way out without extreme protest, I comply with his instructions and get onto the gurney, letting him strap me in.

As they’re loading me into the ambulance, Charlie’s panicked voice breaks through the background noise.

“Melisa!” he shouts.

“Hey,” I say, my voice quiet. “I’m fine.”

Apparently he doesn’t believe me because he turns to the nearest EMT and demands more information. I intentionally don’t look out at the crowd that has gathered – probably the entire school. I don’t need the visual image of all their faces watching me.

The ambulance gets a police escort, of course. I feel so embarrassed and ridiculous the entire time. Especially as they’re unloading me. I’m not hurt. Well, not enough to really warrant this much attention. The driver of the van, I think his name’s Tyler, suffered much more than I did. I notice Edward just glides through the hospital doors under his own power.

They put me in the emergency room. A nurse puts a pressure cuff and a thermometer under my tongue. When the nurse walks away, I pull the neck brace off and throw it under the bed.

A swarm of hospital personnel comes into the room; another stretcher is brought to the bed next to me. It’s Tyler. He looks all battered with bloody bandages wrapped around his head, but he’s looking anxiously at me.

“Melissa, I’m so sorry!”

I ignore the mispronunciation, because right now, it really doesn’t matter. “I’m fine – don’t stress. You look terrible, are you okay?” As we speak, nurses begin unwinding his soiled bandages, exposing a myriad of shallow slices all over his forehead and left cheek. Shit man.

He ignores me. “I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast, and I hit the ice wrong…” He winces when a nurse starts dabbing at his face.

“Lmao, I thought you were going to kill me, too.” I keep my tone light, trying to make light of the situation.

“How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then you were gone…”

What do I say? Do I talk about how Edward somehow launched himself across the parking lot to save me?

No, I don’t. “… Edward pulled me out of the way.”

He looks confused. “Who?”

“Edward Cullen – he was standing next to me.” Luckily I can be a convincing liar when I need to be.

“Cullen? I didn’t see him… wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?”

“Yeah. He’s here somewhere.”

Before the conversation can go any further, they wheel me away to get x-rayed. Once I’m back I ask if I can leave, but a nurse says that I have to speak to a doctor first. So I’m stuck in the ER, waiting and being pestered by Tyler’s apologies.

Eventually I just stop responding to him and close my eyes in an attempt to rest. I turn onto my side, hoping that no one else will disturb me while I wait for the doctor.

“Is she sleeping?”

My eyes flutter open and I lift my head to see Edward standing at the foot of my bed. I sit up, swinging my legs over the edge.

“Hey, Edward, I’m really sorry–“ Tyler begins.

Edward lifts a hand to stop him.

“No blood, no foul,” he says, flashing his perfect teeth. He sits on the edge of Tyler’s bed, facing me. “So, what’s the verdict?”

“No blood, no foul,” I say, repeating him.

He chuckles softly, smiling.

A doctor walking around the corner takes my attention away from Edward. The doctor is young, blond… Yikes, he’s just… beautiful. Too beautiful for words. He has similar characteristics to Edward, but they also don’t look anything alike. Pale skin, dark circles under his eyes. From what Bella has told me, this must be Edward’s father.

“So, Miss Lynn,” Dr. Cullen says. His voice is… very appealing. “How are you feeling?”

“Dandy,” I say.

He walks to the light board on the wall over my head, and turns it on.

“Your X-rays look good,” he says. “Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard.”

“No,” I say.

The doctor’s cool fingers probe lightly along my skull. He notices when I wince.

“Tender?” he asks.

“It’s fine.”

I hear a chuckle, and I look over to see Edward smiling. I frown at him.

“Well, your uncle is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all.”

“I can’t go back to school?” I ask, and it sounds like a whine. “I’ve got an exam today in Government.”

“I’m sure your teacher will understand your absence. Take it easy today.”

I release a long breath. “So I can go?”

“Yes.”

“Great!” I say with fake enthusiasm. I hop off of the bed, but I move too quickly and stumble a bit. Dr. Cullen catches my arm.

“Seriously, I’m fine,” I assure him again. “I’ve just got bad balance.”

“Take some Tylenol for the pain,” he suggests as he lets go of my arm.

“It doesn’t hurt,” I insist. It really doesn’t.

“It sounds like you were extremely lucky,” Dr. Cullen says, smiling.

“Lucky that Edward was there to rescue me.” I say this pointedly. I want Edward to know that I haven’t forgotten.

“Oh, well, yes,” Dr. Cullen agrees, suddenly occupied with the papers in front of him. Then his attention was drawn to Tyler.

 _He knows._ What the fuck is Edward hiding?

“I’m afraid that _you’ll_ have to stay with us just a little bit longer,” he says to Tyler, and begins checking his stats.

One on one with Edward again, with his eyes on me like that, I’m a bit frozen. I look at him wide-eyed and vulnerable.

Without thinking, I say softy, “It could’ve been over.”

He’s confused. “What do you mean?”

Fuck. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said anything. He doesn’t need to know. He probably doesn’t even WANT to know about the sob story feelings I’ve got right now. My chest is aching and I suddenly find myself trying not to cry again. It’s all too much. Too much similarity. Too much like the fateful end my family had.

“Never mind,” I say softly. I shake my hair out with my fingers, and turn to leave, trying to ignore him. It’s taking everything in me to stifle the eruption of sobs I know is coming. I just need to wait until I’m in bed. I just need to be numb right now.

I leave the ER with Edward staring after me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've noticed I've got like almost 50 views and that's fuckin awesome, even though I know that like half of those are from me coming to check my stats... anyway, I'd seriously appreciate it if you left me a comment or a kudos to let me know that what I'm doing so far is good. only my roommate really has the 411 on what I'm doing, so I'd love for your opinions. Good and bad. and I'll always reply if you have a question or something like that. thanks for reading! :)


	5. Boys Are Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a first look (kind of) into Melisa's journal, Edward doesn't talk to her for a month, and she gets asked out by three boys. What are the fucking odds?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken me so long to write. This week I've been dealing with my #depression, so I'm currently an emotional disaster. But anyways, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Also, yeah tenses are pretty fucked up. Still looking for a Beta.

_February 2 nd_

_Hey, it’s me again._ _I know it’s been a while since I’ve written in here, but honestly I’ve been too depressed to write. I’m only doing it now because I’ve literally got nothing else to do._

_I was in a wreck today. Like, a car crash. Kind of. I got to school (I had to drive myself because Bella is sick), and I was checking the snow chains on the tires and this van tries to kill me. It should have, really._

_This guy, Edward Cullen, he’s hella gorgeous, but he’s also hella weird. He saved me. I don’t know how he did it, but he literally stopped the van from hitting me. I don’t know if he’s some kind of superhero or something but that shit is just not normal. He doesn’t want me to tell anyone either. I won’t, obviously, but I just – I have so many questions, you know? _

_Question #1: How did he get over to me so fast? (I know he was across the lot by his car. I saw him.)_

_Question #2: How did he stop the van? Super strength?_

_Question #3: Why? Why did he save me? Why?_

_The last question has really been bugging me. I could’ve died. It all could’ve been over. The universe was trying to give me what I couldn’t bear to do to myself. If he hadn’t done anything, I wouldn’t be here anymore. Someone would be washing me off the asphalt like I was nothing more than dirt. No one would miss me. I haven’t been here long enough. All of the people I really care about have already said their goodbyes… or they’re already dead…_

_I wish I was dead. Why did he have to save me?_

 

I paused, distracted by the doorbell. Charlie wasn’t home – he went back to work – and Bella I know was in her room sleeping away her cold. I looked out the window to see a yellow sports car parked in front of the house. Who the fuck owns that?

I go downstairs and cautiously open the door. It was… I don’t remember her name, but I know she was a Cullen. She was shorter than me, almost by a foot. Her hair was short, too, and black. Beautiful, of course, but she also looked… fragile. But with the black leather jacket she was wearing she looked like she was going to some punk rock concert.

She smiles brightly at me. “Hey, I’m Alice,” she says. “I’m Edward’s sister. How’s your head?”

“It’s fine,” I answer automatically. “No more damaged than usual anyways.”

She laughs. “That’s good to hear! Edward wanted me to drop this off for him.” She hands me a blue flash drive.

“He’s not coming over tomorrow?” I ask. I feel the unmistakable pang of disappointment.

Her cute mouth slips into a frown. “No, I’m sorry.”

“Will he be at school?”

She hesitates before answering. “… Yes.”

“Awesome,” I say. “Tell him I’m gonna kick his ass for making me do all the work.”

Her expression brightens again at my words. “Will do.”

She says she has to go, and waves goodbye. When I go back up to my room, I just drop the flash drive on the bed. I don’t wanna deal with it right now. Instead I sit at my desk and pick up my pen. The page in my journal was blank except for my writing. How boring. In the margins and the empty space at the bottom, I sketch out some clouds in black and color them in. They perfectly match my emo mood.

Once they’re done, I grab my laptop and the flash drive. Hopefully Pride and Prejudice will cheer me up, even if this assignment didn’t.

 

It must’ve been some hours later when I finally look up from the PowerPoint. My eyes were exhausted from staring at the screen for so long. I closed them and pushed the laptop away from me.

I don’t know what it was. Maybe it was boredom, maybe it was spur of the moment insanity, but I grab my phone and open my messages.

M: _why?_ I quickly thumb out and hit send. Then I drop my phone beside me on the bed. It was a risky text and I was anxious for his answer. If he was going to answer.

When my phone buzzes, I’ve got it open before I can blink.

E: _Why what?_   is his response.

M: _why did you save me?_

He doesn’t reply immediately, and I stare at my phone, at the last message I sent, waiting for what seemed like minutes, for his reply.

E: _I don’t know._

M: _shit, man that’s not much to go on._

I pause.

M: _how then? how did you do what you did?_

E: _Do what?_

M: _how did you save me? stopping the van like that… I don’t know if you know, but shit like that’s not normal. are you some kind of super hero or something?_

E: _No, I’m not a superhero._

M: _then like what the fuck_

E: _It’s none of your business._

M: _look, I like to believe I live my life honestly. no bullshit. and guess what? I smell bullshit._

M: _and oh yeah, you made it my business when you saved me_

✓ Read 9:04 PM. He doesn’t reply for several minutes. He really is an asshole.

E: _Can’t you just thank me and get it over with?_

M: _… thank you_

E: _You’re not going to let it go, are you?_

M: _Nope._

E: _I hope you enjoy disappointment._

M: _That’s my entire life, buddy._

✓ Read 9:13 PM. He doesn’t say anything more for the rest of the night.

 

He doesn’t show up to school, either. So, unfortunately, I don’t have a chance to kick his ass. Lots of people ask me about the accident. All I say is that Edward pulled me out of the way and that I’m fine. Nothing more. I don’t say anything about Edward’s… abilities? I guess that’s the word… It’s his secret. It’s not mine to tell. I repeat that story until they grow bored of it and stop asking.

Edward doesn’t make an appearance the rest of the week. Therefore, leaving me alone when it’s our turn to present the project. That’s fine, I guess. I just ramble on, presenting the slides I’d worked so hard on. I didn’t use any of Edward’s material. Turns out we had the same things, just said in a different way.

He shows his face on Monday. I try not to stare too much in the cafeteria, but it’s hard. Him and his family aren’t a boisterous bunch, but they still have this presence that’s hard to ignore. Like… you don’t have to see them to know they’re there.

In English, he sits in the same seat he had on my first day. Mrs. Campbell had moved the desks back to their original places, now that the project is over. Before I sit in my seat, I fish the flash drive out of my pocket and drop it on his desk. Yes, I’d been carrying it until I had this opportunity.

“Hey,” I say cheerfully, trying to hide my saltiness from his absence last week.

He fingers the flash drive, not looking at me. He nods slightly in acknowledgement, but otherwise gives no notice of my presence.

Fine. Be like that, punk.

He doesn’t talk to me again. His behavior doesn’t surprise me all that much, honestly. Attractive people don’t talk to me. I don’t know what it is about fat girls that make them run away from like the plague.

My resentment over my rescue passes eventually. I found things to do… a new TV show to obsess over… new books to read… music to listen to on repeat until I grew tired of… This is normal for me. I guess they’re like my little battle strategies. What am I fighting? My doctor diagnosed me with a case of mild depression. I think he only said mild because I’m able to hide its severity. Distract myself with things, that’s pretty much what I do.

           

An entire month passes before he speaks to me again.

Mike and I were coming in from lunch, and as I sit down, ignoring Edward but also paying very close attention to him (you know how it goes), Mike stays near me. He sits in the desk in front of me.

“So, Melisa, I wanted to ask you something…” he trails off, and I look at him expectantly.

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if you… were going to ask me to the dance.” He looks down, but peaks up at me through his lashes.

“Uh – I – um…” I hesitate with my answer. How do I say this nicely? I hate dances so much that it’s completely been off my radar. From the moment I heard about it, I’d already resigned not to go.

“I thought Bella was going to ask you,” I say.

His face reddens. “Oh, well, she did.”

“But now you’re asking me?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Well, that’s kind of a dick move, don’t you think?” I have no idea why he’s asking me to the dance. It’s not like he actually likes me. He spends all his time chasing after Bella. Now that he actually has her attention, he asks me? I just don’t understand. Boys are stupid.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Dude,” I say. “Go with her. She wants to go with you.”

“What about you?” he asks.

“What about me?”

“Aren’t you going to the dance? Did somebody else ask you?” His eyes briefly flicker from my face to someone behind me before returning.

I answer honestly. “I’m not going at all.”

“Well, why not?” he bites.

I sigh heavily. “Because dances are really not my idea of a good time.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” I say. “You should go tell Bella you’ll go with her. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”

“I guess.” He turns to face the front of the classroom. I must have hurt his feelings. Yikes.

I sigh again, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. Boys are _so_ stupid.

Class starts and as I turn to dig through my book bag, I find Edward staring at me. I try not to react, but I’m very aware of every movement I make. Once my things were on the desk, I rest my elbows on the top and lean on them. As casually as I can, I glance over my shoulder at him. He’s still staring at me, and his eyes are black again. How the fuck can they do that?

His stare is also super intense. He’s leaning towards me, his body angled so that it looks like we’re having a conversation. Is he angry with me or something? I can’t tell. Whatever it is, I can’t keep eye contact for long, and I turn my attention back to the lesson.

At the end of class, I’m collecting my things, and I hear Edward’s voice.

“Melisa?”

I pause. My eyebrows raise in surprise. I speak hesitantly. “Yeah?”

I wait for him to answer, but he just stares at me. Frustrated, I finish stuffing my things into my bag, and stand. “What is it, Edward? Are you finally talking to me again?”

“No, not really.”

Is it weird that I missed the sound of his voice? Yeah… definitely weird.

“Then what do you want?”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I’m being very rude, I know. But it’s better this way, really.”

My eyes narrow in confusion. “What the fuck does that mean exactly?”

“It’s better if we’re not friends.” He pauses, his eyes widening just a bit. I stare into their seemingly limitless depths. “Trust me.”

“Trust you?” I can’t keep the laughter out of my tone. “How can I do that? You haven’t given me any reason to trust you.”

“What do you mean?”

“The project? You bailed on the presentation.” I lean toward him a little, and keep my voice low. He leans back, but keeps his eyes on my face. “And then there’s that matter of not telling me how the fuck you did all of those things.”

I straighten, and laugh right out, more to myself than to anyone else. “Trust you?” I repeat. “I hope you enjoy disappointment.”

I leave the room with him staring after me. How many times has this happened now?

On the way to the truck – which, by the way, was hardly damaged in the wreck, and that’s good, Bella wasn’t mad at all – I pass Mike and Bella in deep conversation, and I can’t help but smile. I know what they’re talking about. I perform my daily ritual of waiting like a cool kid against the truck. Today, unfortunately, was not one of the days it kept people away. Maybe it was my expression.

One of Bella’s friends – Eric? I think? – comes up to me.

“Hey, Melissa.”

“Hey.” I don’t correct him. It’s the end of the day, and honestly, I’m not sure I got his name right, either so… “What’s up?”

“Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the strong dance with me?” His voice breaks.

My jaw drops in shock, and as my brain is scrambling for a reply, my eyes zero in on Edward gliding by. There was something about his expression that told me he was listening.

“Isn’t it girl’s choice?” I ask. What the fuck? Two boys asking me out in one day? This must be some kind of prank. My eyes searched his face for the joke, but I couldn’t find any insincerity. Shit.

“Well, yeah,” he agrees.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Not like Mike, who had already been asked by Bella. Nah, I’d feel guilty for hurting this guy’s feelings.

“I’m sorry,” I say gently. “I’m not going to the dance at all. It’s nothing personal, though. I promise.”

“Oh.” His eyes don’t meet mine anymore. “Maybe next time.”

I smile apologetically, not willing to give him an actual answer. His shoulders drop and he slumps away.

A bark of laughter makes my head turn sharply to find the source, but when my eyes land on Edward’s expressionless face, I still know it was him. Dick.

“Hey,” Bella says. Reluctantly, I give her my eyes. “Are you ready to go? What did Eric want?”

“He asked me to the dance.” I don’t dare mention that Mike asked me, too.

“Oh, did you say yes?”

“I’m not going to the dance.”

She didn’t seem bothered in the slightest by this new bit of info. Maybe she didn’t want me to go. Whatever.

“That’s too bad.”

“Yeah.”

We climb into the truck, but get stuck in the flood of other cars trying to escape this hellhole. Since I wasn’t driving, I pull out my phone and distract myself with Facebook.

A knock on my window surprises us both, and I look up to see Tyler Crowley smiling at me. He motions for me to roll down the window. I do so, but only enough to hear him speak.

“Sorry, we’re stuck in the line,” I say.

“Oh, I know,” he says. “I just wanted to ask you something while we’re trapped here.”

Oh, no. I fucking see where this is going. What the _fuck_ is going on here?

His grin is cocky. “Will you ask me to the spring dance?”

"I’m not going to the dance,” I say immediately, failing to hide irritation in my voice.

“Yeah, Mike said that.”

“Then wh-“

“I was hoping you were letting him down easy.”

I’ve had enough. Boys are so. Fucking. _Stupid_.

“I wasn’t,” I bite out.

My harsh tone doesn’t deter his self-confidence. He shrugs. “That’s cool. We still have prom.”

He struts away before I can give a retort. As the line starts to move, I roll up the window, and on the way out, we pass Edward, leaning against his car, laughing his ass off. I quickly pick up my phone and send him a text before we’re out of the lot.

M: _FUCK YOU TOO_

M: _ASSHOLE_

_✓_ Read 2:26 PM.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Concerns? I showed my roommate Chapter 4 and she was pretty confused by the texting, so I went and added tags to show who's speaking. I've also done that for this chapter as well. What do you think?
> 
> Also, I know that things are really following the book, and in truth, it's mostly because while I'm writing this, I"m reading Midnight Sun. Because I know why Edward falls for her, I'm trying to have similar reactions. Just... he loves me for different reasons I guess? I picture myself a lot like Alice. Bubbly, really positive. I know it doesn't seem this way now, but my only family has died and i've moved all the way across the country. I'm still grieving. I have plans for change, though, so don't worry. Edward will help a lot. 
> 
> Oh, yeah, and in case you forgot, I am Melisa. She is me. This is a self-insertion fic. Sorry if that's weird. I just really wanted to write this. So far I'm pretty proud. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone reading and commenting! It means so much to me like you don't understand.


	6. Petty High School Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melisa is asked out by Edward. Some other shit happens too, but obviously that's what's important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, so I don't know, I particularly like this chapter. Kind of. It's a bit messy, I feel. Like, her thoughts are all over the place when it comes to Edward. In the beginning she was all, "omg he's so weird but hes hot too" and now it's all "you're just hot now, please grace me with your beautiful presence". I feel like that's such a turn around. Well, you'll have to tell me what you think, because my roommate has given up on me and this story.

I spent the entire ride home glaring out the window, silently fuming.

I guess my anger is obvious, because Bella says, “Something wrong?”

I sigh heavily, trying to choose my words carefully. “Well, I just – I don’t understand what’s with the boys at this school.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are all of these boys asking me out?” I let out, a little too loud. “It’s not like they actually like me.”

She frowns and keeps her eyes on the road. “How do you know that?”

“Because… I mean look at me. My fat ass doesn’t fit their type at all.” I sigh again. “Must be some kind of joke.”

Back home I know that my friends would’ve understood. Or at least given me a lengthy lecture about how beautiful I am or whatever. On the surface I pretend to like myself, but deep down I know I’m worthless.

I kind of expect Bella to do the same. It’s just something I’ve become accustomed to when dealing with other – prettier - girls. However, her silence makes me awfully suspicious. She has a concerned expression.

“What?” I ask.

“It’s nothing,” she says. But her face quickly transitions to guilt, and the truth is like a smack in the face.

My voice is very soft when I speak. “It _was_ a joke.”

If she made any apologies, I didn’t hear them. I just stared out the window and wallowed in my self-hatred.

 

_March 4 th_

_Today was completely ridiculous. And by ridiculous, I mean who the fuck decided it was okay to treat me like this? Who the fuck made the decision to make my life so completely unbearable?_

_I hate this school. I hate this town. And I hate myself._

_Some of the boys I kind of hang out with at school decided it was a good idea to ask me to the dance as a joke. Bella was even in on it! Like, what the actual fuck??? I’ve never been asked out before in my entire life, and yet in the span of an hour, I get asked out by not one, not two, but three guys?!?! _

_And like, the fact that it was a joke… A real joke. Not just me making up wack excuses as to why someone would take an interest in me. They purposely set out to make fun of me. Am I that fat? Am I that unappealing? That unlovable?_

_I guess so. This is just another thing to add to the long list of reasons for me to cry myself to sleep. And yes… yes, I know that was a really pathetic thing to say, but who gives a fuck? This is my fuckin journal and I can say what I fuckin want._

_Oh, and of course, how could I not mention that Edward talked to me today? Well, he did, and even though it ultimately confused me and pissed me off, it was still probably the best thing that happened. I was a bit mean to him, and I feel bad about that, but he also said my name. That was pretty dope. How could it not be? He’s quite literally been on my mind for the past month. It might not seem like it… but my imagination likes to get away from me. Often I find myself daydreaming about kissing him and… very possibly doing more than just kissing that beautiful face. You know how it goes. My thirst for that boy continues to grow._

_Everything he does is confusing, but at least he keeps the bad thoughts away._

_Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go to bed and do just that… imagine what it’d be like with him in my bed._

 

The crazy thing, though, I do actually dream of him that night. Honestly I don’t really remember shit from that dream except that Edward and I were kissing. I don’t know where we were, but that’s definitely what we were doing. It was one of those dreams where I can vividly remember what his face felt like pressed up against mine, his arm around my waist, and his hand cupping my cheek. I even remember his long fingers brushing against my ear. I also remember that I felt so happy.

So in my mind it makes sense that when I wake up, and realize it wasn’t real, that I feel the telltale signs of a crying session swell in my chest. I made sure that I wasn’t in danger of a break down before I got ready for school.

I couldn’t bear to even look at Bella. Last night I avoided going to dinner and on the way to school I just tried to ignore her by listening to my music on blast.

Maybe because he’s still on my mind from last night’s dream, or because I’m probably obsessed, my eyes are immediately drawn to Edward’s Volvo. When Bella parks, it’s in the furthest possible spot from it. Bella immediately gets out and goes to her gaggle of friends. This time I don’t go with her. They aren’t really my friends, and that much is clear now. I stay in the truck.

I’d like to say that I don’t stare at them. I’d like to say that I just get lost in my phone, but it’s not true. It’s hard not to ignore people you’re trying to ignore. You’re just hyperaware of everything they do.

Because of this, when Edward comes and taps on the window, I jump back in surprise.

“What?” I ask. He just smiles and motions for me to come out. When I slide out of the truck, Edward’s got his hand braced on the side of it, his other hand in his pocket. I lean against the truck door and I can’t help but notice that Bella’s group have their attention on us.

But, no. I should focus on Edward. The man of my literal dreams is standing right in front of me, looking like he belongs on the cover of GQ, and here I am preoccupied with people who just don’t matter.

I tear my eyes away from them and smile, finally bringing my full attention to him.

His golden eyes are full of concern. “Is there something wrong?” he asks.

“Oh, you know, just typical high school bullshit.”

His eyes go from concern to laughter. “Oh, that’s right. The spring dance.”

My jaw drops. He’s in on it, too. Before I can stop myself, what’s on my mind comes rushing through my mouth. “Asshole.”

He starts. “What do you mean?”

“You fucking knew! You knew they were asking me out as a joke. I saw you laughing at me!” I tear my eyes away from his face and push past him.

“You’re a piece of shit,” I say over my shoulder. I expect him to be struggling a pace behind, but he’s actually right next to me. “I thought you were pretending I don’t exist, not striving for the asshole of the year award.”

“I wasn’t laughing at you.” His voice is serious, but I can still tell he’s holding back laughter. “It was something completely different – it had nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

He picks up his pace and jumps in front of me, blocking my path, and he keeps his tone light. “And I’m not pretending you don’t exist.”

"So you _are_ just being an asshole. Look, if you hate me so much, why didn’t you let Tyler’s van just kill me?”

Anger flashes across his golden stare. “Melisa, you are utterly absurd,” he snaps.

“Whatever,” I sigh, and I try to go around him.

“Wait,” he pleads, blocking me. “I’m sorry, that was rude. I’m not saying it isn’t true, but it was rude to say it, anyway.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me.” His face lights up in a sudden burst of laughter.

“Oh, I’m that funny, am I?”

“You’re doing it again,” he points out.

I sigh again and plaster a smile on my face. “Fine. What do you want?”

“I was wondering if, a week from Saturday…” My eyes widen and my smile falls. Holy _shit._ “You know, the day of the spring dance –“

“What the actual fuck!?” I interrupt. “Are you trying to be _funny_?”

“Will you let me finish?”

So I wait, folding my arms across my chest and biting my lip to keep from bursting out again.

His eyes flicker down to my mouth for a moment before refocusing on my eyes. “Since you aren’t going to the dance, I was wondering if you’d like to go to Seattle with me that day?”

I don’t think I could’ve stopped my reaction even if I’d wanted to. My eyes bug out even further and my jaw drops. “What?”

“Did you want to go to Seattle with me that day?” he repeats.

I blink and try to shake off the shock, but it’s hard. Somehow I’m still able to speak. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Well, you’re not going to the dance. I’m not going to the dance. I thought it’d be a good opportunity to get out and… show you around.”

“You know you really need to make up your mind. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend, and this, I hate to tell you, Edward, is a very friendly thing to do.”

“I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”

“Well, that makes so much sense, thank you,” I say sarcastically.

He chooses his next words carefully. “It would be more… _prudent_ for you not to be my friend.” He breaks to take a deep breath. “But I’m tired of trying to stay away from you, Melisa.”

I can only stare at him. No one’s ever said anything like that to me, ever. It is beyond comprehensible for Edward Cullen to be saying that to _me_. While I can deny the authenticity of his words, I can’t, however, deny how they make me feel. I’m practically delirious with happiness.

After a quick moment, I breathe in deeply myself, trying to let those words sink into my brain, and those feelings sink into my chest. I try to keep a smile from breaking across my face.

“Will you go to Seattle with me?” he asks again.

I can only nod because I’m trying so hard not to bounce with joy.

“You really should stay away from me,” he says. I hear him, but it doesn’t resonate. I’m too happy.

“I’ll see you in class,” he says before he turns a glides away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know that was pretty rough. Love it? Lemme know. Hate it? Lemme know. Like literally anything you have to say will be much appreciated. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward and Melisa are trying to be friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey, yo. Whats up?! I hope you like this chapter. I do. I think it's another example of how I'm trying to morph the original story to fit me. 
> 
> Thank you for everyone who has commented so far or given me kudos. Legit the most recent comment I got spurred me into actually writing and shitting this chapter out. So, I hope that y'all are pickin up what I'm puttin down... More comments = quicker updates lmao.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Note: Sorry again, my tenses are fucked up again. I just don't care enough to go back and change them. Also I'm still not sure if I want this in the present or the past so... *shrugs*

I don’t really care what happened when school started. My classes are dull, and as a result, I find myself spacing out a lot. To be fair, though, I do really only have one thing on my mind. Well, one _person_.

Edward wants to spend time with me. Edward _Cullen_. Like, holy fucking shit. He basically asked me out on a date and, for a first date, it’s setting the standard really high for me in the future. Not that I had very high expectations for anything in the love department for me in the first place. Girls like me – the bigger kind -  don’t get happy endings. Society doesn’t seem to think we deserve them. I learned early on not to have actual crushes on guys. What’s the point if they’re never going to like me back?

Edward wanting to spend time with me… it seems too crazy to be true. I probably shouldn’t call it a date. The part of me that’s got her feet planted firmly on the ground knows I’m just jumping to conclusions. Someone as beautiful as Edward couldn’t possibly find me attractive. What happened with Bella’s friends really drove that idea home. It was the final nail in my coffin. My life is just one massive joke.

But the other part of me – the one with a trusting heart and wings on her back - is soaring. She’s delirious with happiness just at the thought of all the possibilities that could unfold. It’s hard to bury that hope.

 

When lunch finally rolls around, I don’t eat. I don’t sit at the usual table with the others. Instead, I choose one that I normally see empty and pull out my phone.

“Mind if I sit?”

I look up and see Edward. I can’t stop the smile that tugs at my lips. “Yeah. Of course.”

He takes the seat across from me and smiles in return. He’s not eating either.

“You’re not sitting with your friends?” he asks. His eyes flicker from my face to somewhere behind me, but I knew he was looking at the other table I normally sit at.

I glance at them over my shoulder, and say dismissively, “They’re not my friends.”

He frowns. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

I just shrug. “Why aren’t you sitting with your family?”

“Well…“ he hesitates. “I decided as long as I’m going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”

“I love that motto,” I joke. “I like to believe I live by that, too.”

His frown deepens. “You’re not going to hell.”

I laugh sharply. “Are you kidding?” I say, my hand over my heart. “Honey, you just so happen to be speaking to the King of Hell. I made the Devil my bitch.”

He gives the most incredulous look, his mouth falling open slightly. I thread my fingers together in front of me and give him a serious look. Once my words had finished processing, his teeth flash in a wide smile and his golden eyes crinkle in the corners as he laughs.

“Why are you sitting with me?” I ask. His smile disappears and he becomes serious.

“I told you,” he says. “I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I’m giving up.” He smiles again.

“What do you mean ‘giving up’?”

“I’m giving up trying to be to be good,” he says. “I’m just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.”

I look down at my fingers, fiddling with my mom’s ring. My chest feels heavy with doubt and uncertainty. He’s making absolutely no sense, but I can only assume the worst. I speak slowly and softly, trying to choose my words carefully. “Why? Am I bad for you?”

My eyes return to his face as I wait for him to answer my question. He seems to be choosing his words carefully, too.

“Not in the way I think you’re imagining,” he finally says. “If anything, I’m the one that’s bad for you.”

“And yet you wanna be friends?”

He hesitates. “… Yes.”

I keep my tone light. “You know that doesn’t make any sense, right?”

His smile is sheepish. “Yes, I know.”

I sigh and bring my eyes back down to my fingers. He admitted plainly he wants to be friends. That’s something at least. I hope it means he won’t stop talking to me again. I enjoy talking to him too much. If he stopped, I’d be even more miserable than I already am… I wonder if he enjoys talking to me, too?

“Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

I focus on his face again and suck in a painful deep breath. Why do I ever look away from his face?

“Um, I’m just trying to figure you out,” I admit. “What you are… Why you even wanna talk to me in the first place… Stuff like that.”

He shifts in his seat, uneasy. “What are your theories?”

“I don’t have any yet, honestly,” I say. “I’m torn between wanting to know, but also wanting to mind my own business. Does that make sense?”

“I suppose.”

My eyes wander the room, but I continue speaking, voicing my thoughts aloud. “But like, you can’t be that bad. Whatever it is that you are or what you can do. You haven’t done anything overly threatening besides give me a few serial killer-like glares when I first got here. You saved my life, and that’s not bad. It’s… heroic.”

“You think I’m a superhero?” he chides.

“It’s not such a stretch.”

He frowns, leaning his forearms on the tabletop, his eyes focused on mine. He speaks with a calm, but cautious tone. “What if I’m not the hero? What if I’m the bad guy?”

My eyes widen, but I still jokingly say, “So you actually are a serial killer?”

He sighs and leans back in his chair. His frown doesn’t disappear. For once, his eyes are concentrating on the table instead of me.

“Well,” I continue. “I think, because of what you can do, you can be dangerous. But I don’t actually think you’re a serial killer… At least I don’t think that anymore.” I shake my head slightly. “But, I don’t think you’re bad.”

“You’re wrong,” he breathes. The look on his face made it seem like he wasn’t too happy about that.

“Congratulations,” I say. “You’ve joined the I Perpetually Hate Myself Club. I’ve been a member for about ten years now, but new members are always welcome.” I plaster a smile on my face and tilt my head.

He peeks up at me through his lashes and the corner of his mouth turns up, his laugh coming out kind of like a sigh. I can’t help but laugh myself.

But then the bell rings, signaling that lunch is over. I stand and push in my chair, but Edward doesn’t move.

I sling my bag over my shoulder. “You coming?”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Why?”

“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.”

“Amen to that,” I sigh. “I’m going though. I didn’t do that homework for nothing.” I begin to turn away. “See you later.”

He smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Goodbye.”

 

I miss Edward. Do I know that’s a ridiculous feeling? Yes, I do. But in only just a few conversations, I feel like he’s more my friend than anyone else here. In English, Mike doesn’t even acknowledge me, and that’s good. I don’t want to talk to him anyway, but I still feel lonely.

When class ends, I don’t rush to the truck like usual. Instead, I take my time gathering my things and strolling along. Because of this, Bella and her gang are by Tyler’s new van when I get to the parking lot, and I have to pass them to get to the truck. As soon as one of them sees me, they nudge the person next to them until they’re all staring at me. I try not to look at them as I pass, but luck is not on my side.

“Hey, Melissa,” Jessica – this bitch that I did not like – calls out.

Seeing it unavoidable, I stop and turn to them. “What?”

“You don’t need to avoid us. It was just a joke. It was supposed to be funny.”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” I demand.

“Just get over it,” she spats out. “We’re still your friend.”

My anger is growing by the second. I can’t fucking believe these people. My old school spoiled me. I never had to deal with these kinds of idiots.

“Melisa?” I look over and see Edward striding toward me. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, great,” Mike says.

Edwards comes to a stop by my side and while yes, I’m rejoicing at the sight of him, I’m also fucking pissed, so I don’t answer him. I just focus on them.

“ _Fuck_ you,” I exclaim. “I don’t exist to be the butt of some sick joke. So you can take your shitty, bullshit friendship and shove it right up your ass.”

I spin on my heel and begin walking to the road.

“Where are you going?” Bella calls out.

“Where do you fucking think?” I throw over my shoulder.

“You’re gonna walk?”

I turn, walking backwards, and give them the middle finger salute in response. Then I face the road again.

Edward catches up to me. “Did you want a ride?” he asks gently.

I stop and look at him. I’m suddenly overwhelmed with sadness instead of anger, and as I look up at his face, I have to fight back a sob.

“Yes, please,” I breathe out. The next breath in is shuddering.

He leads me to his silver Volvo and I slide in. Once I’m buckled, I lean back on the seat, and focus on evening out my breathing. I didn’t want to cry in front of Edward. I’m a fucking ugly crier.

He starts the car, turns up the heat, and lowers the music to background level. I concentrate on the music, and it’s something that I recognize.

“Clair de Lune?” I ask, my breathing shaky.

He glances at me in surprise. “You know Debussy?”

I shake my head. “No. I just know this song, but I really love it.”

“I love it, too.”

He doesn’t say anything more, but I want to know more.

“I thought you listened to death metal,” I say.

“Why do you say that?”

“You were playing it that one time. Really loudly as I remember.”

“I have an eclectic taste.”

I chuckle. “So does that mean you listen to everything, but country music?”

He laughs, too. “Yes.”

“I’m like that, too, but I mostly focus on alternative rock,” I say. “But not all country’s bad, I think.”

“Examples?”

“Johnny Cash,” I say. “I’ve listened to Folsom Prison Blues countless times. I think The Sun Years is my favorite album.”

Keeping one hand on the road, he leans over me to open the glove compartment. He pulls out a CD and hands it to me. The familiar cover of Johnny Cash’s The Sun Years stares back at me. I can’t help but smile.

“It’s my favorite, too,” he says.

“That’s awesome,” I say, and put it back in the compartment.

“How’d you get into Johnny Cash?” he asks, his tone casual.

Fuck. This is the part of my life I’d have liked to avoid talking about. It was all still too painful to remember.

“My parents,” I say quietly. “Well, mostly my mom. My dad was a bluegrass baby, and my mom was a music teacher. She introduced me to a lot of things, but her taste was pretty old school. I made her an updated mix CD every now and then.”

“What was she like?” he asks.

“She was a bit erratic,” I say, and I can’t keep the sadness out of my voice. “She did her own thing, but always followed convention.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Is this too painful?”

“Um… yeah.” My voice is very soft and again I have to focus on my breaths.

He pulls to a stop in front of the house. Bella isn’t home yet. Good. I don’t get out of the car.

“How old are you, Melisa?” he asks. He’s turned to face me now.

“Sixteen,” I answer. “But I’ll be seventeen on the 20th.”

He nods. “I see.”

“Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“How old are you?” I ask in return.

“Seventeen,” he answers. “Why?”

“Just wondering,” I tease. “Can I ask you questions now?”

“I suppose.”

“You’re adopted?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to your parents?” I ask.

“They died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry. Obviously, I can empathize.”

“Yes,” he says, reassuring me, “but you’re a bit worse off than me. I don’t remember them quite clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now.”

I could see the fondness in his face when he spoke of them. “And you love them?”

He smiles. “Yes. I couldn’t imagine two better people.”

I inhale deeply. “You’re very lucky.”

“I know I am.”

“And your brothers and sisters?” I ask.

At that he glances at the clock. I know I should stop prodding, but I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go inside and be alone.

“My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to wait in the rain for me.”

“Oh, shit, that’s right. Sorry for keeping you,” I say. “Thank you for the ride.”

“It was my pleasure.” He smiles again. “I hope you have a good weekend. I hear it’s supposed to be sunny.”

“Wait, I won’t see you tomorrow?” If I had learned anything from today, it was that I was going to miss him. Maybe I should say that?

“No. Emmett and I are going hiking in the Goats Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier.”

“Oh…” I trail off. “I hope you have fun.” Go for it go for it go for it. “I’ll miss you, I guess.”

His face softens in surprise or whatever. It could be shock. Before he can reply, I open the door and hop out.

“Peace,” I say, throwing up the sign. Then I close the door and skedaddle inside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously tho... comments are everything. Tell me if you love it. Tell me if you hate it. Or something in between. I read and consider all feedback and will reply. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


	8. Vampire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melisa plans a trip to Port Angeles and discovers something new about Edward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long. It's at this point in the story where it's starting to stray from the original plot, and so now i've actually got to be creative lol. And I like to think that I've got Edward's characterization down, but if it sounds off, please lemme know. Also, lemme know if you like how the story's going, differing from the original.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

This weekend Charlie is going fishing, and Bella is going to the beach, so I would have the house to myself. It’s a relief. I’m finally able to venture outside of my room without fearing any interactions with the others who inhabit this house.

I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but it’s undeniably true. Because of the Bella’s shitty behavior, I don’t really want to talk to her. Thinking on it, I know she probably isn’t really at fault for what happened. At the very least, she did seem guilty, and I know that in a few days’ time, I’ll be able to let this go.

I’m glad that Charlie’s gone too because, well, it’s just super awkward. I don’t know how to live with an adult who isn’t my parent. This whole adjustment thing isn’t going well. And it’s not that I don’t like him – his mustache is everything honestly – I’m just rebelling against this new life I have to lead. Obviously it’s just something I never asked for.

Now that the house is empty I listen to my music without headphones, speakers on full blast. I swear I dance around for at least an hour, and afterwards I collapse and chill out.

I also plan for a trip to Port Angeles. I haven’t given up on my search to buy a car. I’d gotten my Washington license a few weeks ago, and now I have my eye on a used 07 Volkswagen Beetle for sale at a small dealership. I’d probably go sometime this coming week, but my only problem is getting there. I can’t ask Bella for a ride, and even though I’m sure if I ask Charlie would In the end I buy a bus ticket that’ll take me to the middle of Port Angeles, and after that I’ll have to walk. If all goes well, and the car is as great as it seems online, then I’ll be driving it off the lot. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You gotta be careful you don’t get screwed when buying a car and blah blah blah. This isn’t the first time I’ve looked at cars. Before I moved, my dad and I had gone searching, too. He taught me all about the right questions to ask the dealer and what to look at on the car. So I more or less know what I’m getting myself into.

About mid afternoon on Saturday, I decide to binge watch _Supernatural_. My room’s cold, and so I nest in layers of blankets on my bed. After several episodes, I’d began to drift into sleep, but then my phone buzzes. I’m instantly awake when I see who the text’s from.

E: _Hello._

M: _hey_

M: _whats up?_

E: _Nothing particular._

M: _how’s the hiking going?_

E: _Uneventful._

M: _im surprised you have signal._

E: _Emmett and I are taking a late lunch break. I have a few bars and I wanted to see how you were doing. How are you?_

M: _im watching supernatural so im pretty good. lol_

E: _Is that a TV show?_

M: _yea_

M: _why did you want to know how I was?_

E: _You’ve been on my mind all day._

Oh my god… AAAHHH. I can’t stop the dumbass dopey grin that spreads across my face. I don’t even know how to respond.

E: _I’m sorry if that was too forward. However, it was the truth_.

M: _no no no you’re good it’s just… you’ve made my day tbh_

E: _I’ve made you happy?_

M: _fuck yea._ [heart eyes emoji]

E: [heart eyes emoji]

M: _oh and hey I was right_

E: _About what?_

M: _I did miss you._

E: _Oh really?_

M: _mmmhm_

E: _I miss you too._

I thrash about on my bed, doing this little pathetic dance, but I can’t help it. I’m so happy.

M: [insert blush emoji]

E: _I don’t know how to respond to this._

M: _Oh… do u feel it’s good or bad?_

E: _Both._

M: _uuuum okay… that doesn’t really make any sense_

E: _I know._

E: _So what are your plans for this week?_

M: _Tuesday after school im going to port angeles to look at a car_

E: _How are you getting there?_

M: _Bus._

E: _Couldn’t Charlie or Bella take you?_

M: _well at the moment I’m not really in the mood to talk to bella and I don’t want to ask Charlie for anything_

E: _But that’s his job, Melisa. He’s supposed to take care of you_.

M _: that may be but im not comfortable asking him for stuff. I don’t want to be even more of a burden than I already am_

E: _You shouldn’t think of yourself that way._

M: _but it’s true_

E: _I’m sorry. Emmett is becoming impatient to keep going. We’ll discuss this later, Melisa._

M: _it’s totally cool. I don’t want to keep you from that. Have fun_

✓ Read 5:32 PM

 

Sunday evening, Edward texts me again.

E: _Couldn’t you go another day?_

M: _go where?_

E: _Port Angeles._

M: _Why?_

E: _I don’t get back until Wednesday, and I want to take you to the dealership._

M: _What? Why?_

E: _I’m worried you’ll get lost and… run into trouble or something._

M: _lmao chill. I can follow a map. I’m gonna use the gps app on my phone_

E: _Still…_

M: _lol look I can take care of myself and I know how to get shit done. Ill be fine._

 _✓_  Read 6:18 PM

Honestly I don’t know if I should be insulted or touched that he's so worried about me. But nevertheless I really can take care of myself.

 

Charlie isn’t very happy that I decided to go to Port Angeles by myself either. The only reason he agrees to let me go is the fact that I already bought a ticket.

On Sunday I do decide to apologize to Bella. Though she tells me she’s the one that should be apologizing, and she does, I listen and accept her apology. It feels good to put this drama behind me.

While we’re doing the dishes after dinner, she brings up Edward.

“So you guys have been hanging out?” she asks, drying the plate I just cleaned.

“Yeah,” I say, and I smile just thinking about it. “He’s been really nice.”

“Jessica said he’s never really singled anyone out like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re the first,” she says, then muses aloud. “I wonder why he likes you more than anyone else.”

I keep my tone light, trying to ignore how much that sounded like an insult. “You know I’m still trying to figure that out myself.”

“Oh! You wanna hear something crazy I heard in La Push about him yesterday?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Well, it was really the Cullens. Not Edward specifically. But the Quileutes have a legend about these creatures called the Cold Ones, and that they’re the enemies of the tribe.” Bella laughs for a moment before continuing. “Jacob told me that the Cold Ones are vampires.”

“Vampires?” I ask, incredulous. “You’re joking.”

“It’s just a legend.”

“A legend about the Cullens? Didn’t they just move here a few years ago?”

She looks at me seriously. “Or just moved back.” Then she laughs and looks away. “Small towns, am I right?”

“You got me there.”

But… vampires? Edward being a vampire would explain so much. In my mind I picture everything I know about vampires and apply it to Edward. Most of what I know is just the stereotypical stuff. Sleeping in coffins, super powers, avoidance to sunlight, and… drinking blood. And this would explain why they’re all so pretty. It’s a way to lure their victims in.  

What do I do with this information though? Do I full heartedly believe that they’re vampires? Or do I believe that it’s just a crazy story like Bella said? But Edward Cullen being a vampire _just makes sense_.

And _then_ why is he singling me out? From the cryptic things he says, to saving my life, to ignoring me for a month, and then suddenly asking me out on a date, what does he want from me? It’s crazy to think that I’d been right about the serial killer thing from the beginning.

Does this change how I feel about him? Am I afraid of him now?

… No, I don’t think so. While the evidence suggesting he’s a vampire is there, so is the evidence that I’ve never felt unsafe in his presence. Sure, he’d acted weird when we first met, but he’s been really sweet since then. I still enjoyed talking to him. Why would that change?

Could that change? Now that I… Well, I don’t _know_. I can only guess. Would his behavior change? Would he change because I knew?

“Melisa?” Bella asks. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I say. “Sorry, I just spaced out.”

“What were you thinking about?”

I smile sheepishly, handing her another plate. “Edward.”

She keeps her eyes on the dish she’s drying as she speaks. “Do you like him? Like, like like him?”

I decide to answer her honestly. “I don’t really know yet.”

“Well, why not?”

“Because it takes a bit more than a few quick conversations with someone for me to be able to determine whether I really like them.” I keep my tone light, joking, because I know from her little interrogation that she still likes him.

“Well… I like him,” she admits quietly.

HA! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

“Oh, is that so?” I tease. “Won’t that break poor old Mike’s heart?”

“Mike-schmike” she mumbles. “Do you think Edward would go out with me if I ask?”

“Uh…” I have no idea what to tell her so I settle with a vague shrug. “I don’t know, man.”

She sighs. “Jessica says I should go for it. If he’s talking to you, then he might as well talk to me.”

Yikes. Another insult. I believe it’s time now to vacate the premises. Luckily I’ve just handed her the last fork, so I dry my hands and go upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey, again. I know that this chapter has taken so fucking long to come out. To make it up to you, I'm going to be posting the next one tonight as well. If you've gotten to this point, thank you so much for sticking around!
> 
> Thoughts and critique are welcome! Anything you have to say really... anything.


	9. Port Angeles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melisa goes to Port Angeles to check out a car and meets up with Edward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter is heavily edited. I'd suggest going back to reread the rest of the story because some of it has changed... but not much. So if you don't want to, you aren't missing much. This chapter however has almost changed completely. Which is good, I think. It was catering too much to Bella's version, and not me. But now it is. 
> 
> I hope you let me know what you think of the changes! And the story in general...
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Edited on February 27 2018

On Monday Edward isn’t at school. My first thought is of the possibility that he’s still hiking. But you know what the weather’s like? _Sunny_. The rest of his siblings aren’t in school either.

Maybe I’m just looking into this too much. Maybe I’m just imagining things. But I still can’t get over the fact that it all still just makes sense. It’s like when you finally get the missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together and you’re seeing the big picture for first time. It’s an _ah-ha!_ moment.

But Jesus. What did all of this fucking mean? Are things going to change now? Are we not going to be able to be friends now that I know?

The thought of him never speaking to me again was… depressing. It created this heavy feeling in my chest that made breathing a struggle. I already knew that I missed him when he wasn’t around. His presence was so comforting and welcome. If he decided to ignore me again, and this time for good, I’d be alone.

During lunch I sat at the table Edward and I used last week. None of the others came to sit with me, and that was fine. I wanted to avoid them. I had repaired things with Bella, but the rest of her posse I still wasn’t okay with.

 

He’s not in school on Tuesday either, and again, it’s sunny. I’ve now got another reason to hate the sun.

Oh wait. Fuck. Didn’t he tell me he wasn’t going to be in school until Wednesday? Well shit. Now I feel stupid.

But also weather forecasts are a thing. He probably knew what the weather was going to be like and he just happened to tell me his plans. Aaaack. I hate this uncertainty. I wish I could just text him and be like ‘yo are u a vampire or not’, but of course I can’t. That’s not really a subject you talk about over text.

How do you even talk about that in _person_? How do you even fucking ask that? What if once I tell him I know, I’d never see him again? Obviously, being a vampire is something that’s got to be kept a secret, and so now that somebody - me - knows, he has to go? Or what if he decides to not leave, but kill me instead? I know that doesn’t seem likely given that he risked exposure to save me. But still.  

And what if I’m wrong? What if there’s some other explanation for everything? I know I didn’t imagine what happened during the accident… there’s just no other logical explanation I can come up with besides something supernatural. And I can only imagine the embarrassment if he just laughs at me. I’d be the idiot and I’d likely lose him as a friend. I can’t let that happen.

So… I guess that’s it then? Am I not going to pursue the issue further? Is the risk too great?

… Yes.

 

Tuesday isn’t as boring as Monday, I will say. During lunch, Tyler comes over to my table, sliding into the chair opposite me.

“Okay, so,” he starts out, his hands folded together in front of him, “whatever you’re doing, it’s working.”

“What’s working?”

"This whole dramatic distant angsty mysterious thing you’ve got going on, it’s working.”

I make a face. “What?”

“Nobody turns down three offers like that unless they’re trying to get someone’s attention.” His hands come apart and he leans back in the chair, a smirk on his face. “And I’ve gotta admit, you’ve sure got mine. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

My jaw drops. What. The. Fuck. I can’t stop my face from showing my dumbfounded reaction to his confession.

“And because my mama didn’t raise no quitter,” he continues, nonchalant, “I’m here to ask you out again.”

My mouth opens again to speak, but no words come out. My brain scrambles, searching for the best way to handle this.

“Um… no?”

He sighs heavily, leaning forward again. “Is it because I ran you over?”

“Mmmno.”

“Is it because I’m black?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“I could ask you the same question,” I say. “Why do you like me?”

He gives me a once over, his eyes lingering on my chest before coming back to my face. “Maybe I just like girls who are thick.”

I feel heat rise to my cheeks. “So you just wanna fuck me?”

Tyler feigns a pained expression, his hand coming up to his heart. “No! I am a man of substance.”

“Oh, no doubt,” I say, skeptical.

“Then why won’t you go out with me?”

“Because I said no.” I hope my calm, firm voice conveys how serious I am in my refusal.

He looks down and shakes his head. “Damn, girl,” he says as he stands. “I’m hurt – real hurt.”

I wish I could just say “sorry not sorry” as he walks away, but I don’t. That would be mean. I sigh and look wistfully over at the empty Cullen table. I wish Edward was here.

 

After school Bella drops me off at the bus stop, and I’m mentally preparing myself for the journey. I’m already pretty tired after having a restless night, probably because I was anxious about today. I have the address of the dealer, and I have been to Port Angeles before, but I was still nervous about getting lost. It’ll be getting dark by the time I get there and everything always looks different at night.

The bus ride is long and has frequent stops, but I came prepared. I have music blasting in my ears and a book in front of my face. So while I’m entertained, I’m still relieved when I arrive at my stop. When my feet are on the sidewalk, I pull out my phone and follow the GPS to the dealership.

The car is perfect. Tardis blue. Very few kinks in the exterior. Interior is clean with little to no imperfections. The test drive is very smooth. The engine sounds amazing. After the test drive I give the car a look through once more before making my decision and following the dealer inside to sign the papers and transfer the down payment. I have the money to pay in full, but I still need to call my insurance company before I can take the car out on the road.

After leaving the dealership, I feel like I can find my way back to the bus stop by myself. Terrible decision making on my part because I spend an extra twenty minutes wandering around before I get where I need to be. I missed the bus I thought I would make, so now I have to wait another half hour sitting under the roof of the stop.

While waiting, I pull out my book, trying to focus on it instead of the hunger pains in my stomach. It was eight o’clock now and would be near ten by the time I’d get back to the Swan’s. I should’ve packed some food.

After a few minutes, a man comes out of the darkness and sits on the bench, too.

“Howdy,” he says.

“Hi,” I politely respond before going back to my book.

“You in for a long wait, too?” he asks.

“I suppose,” I say without looking at him. From my peripheral vision I see him slide closer to me on the bench.

“Whatcha readin’?”

I turn the cover so he can see. “ _The Martian._ ”

“That was a movie, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Is the book any good?”

"I like it. It’s really funny.”

“My name’s Kevin. What’s yours?”

“Melisa.”

“Melisa,” he muses aloud. “That’s a pretty name. Unique.”

“Thank you.”

I don’t acknowledge him further, keeping my eyes on my book. I can’t really concentrate on it, though, because I swear I read the same paragraph five times. This man made me uncomfortable.

My stomach decides that now is the perfect time to make a dying whale noise, alerting this stranger to my hunger.

He chuckles. “Hey, why don’t you come eat with me? I know of a good burger place.”

“No, thanks.”

“Aw, come on. It’s just around the corner. My treat.” He’s moved close enough now that he can now reach out and grab me. I’ve slid as far away as I can on the bench.

“I said no.” Luckily, my voice doesn’t showcase how nervous I am. “Thank you.”

Before he can say anything else, the loud roar of an engine comes soaring around the corner. The recognizable silver car comes to a stop in front of us. The passenger door is thrown open, and Edward Cullen is leaning across the middle so he can see me. His golden eyes are glaring at the man sitting next to me.

“Get in,” he snarls. Relief, joy, and surprise are all emotions that rush through my mind.

“Do you know him?” Kevin says angrily. I don’t think twice before I stand and cross the small space to the open door. “Hey! Can I at least get your number?!”

I close the door and Edward has his foot on the gas in a second.

“Put on your seatbelt,” he commands. His knuckles are white on the steering wheel. He’s going really fast.

“What’re you doing here?” I ask, tugging the straps across my torso. I haven’t seen him since last week. I haven’t seen him since… the revelation. Yet still, despite that, I know I’m happy to see him. “How did you know where I was?”

He screeches to a halt at a red light, and scoffs. “You told me where you were going, remember?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t tell you exactly when or where.” The light turns green and he speeds away. His eyebrows are pulled together and his eyes are staring intensely at the road. A muscle ticks in his jaw as he clenches his teeth. What’s he so angry about? “And stop doing that to me.”

“Doing what?” he barks out. He pulls his Volvo into a dark, vacant parking lot. The only light to see his face is coming from the dashboard.

“Trying to convince me something happened when it didn’t,” I say. “You did it with Tyler’s van and now this. I did _not_ tell you where I was going to be.”

He doesn’t reply, but I press on.

“Why are you so angry anyway?” I ask, voicing my question aloud.

He squeezes his eyes together, then pinches the bridge of his nose and gives out a short laugh. As he speaks, his voice rises with each word. “Melisa, what were you thinking? How could you put yourself in danger like that?”

“I wasn’t in any danger. I was just waiting for the bus.”

“Do you have any idea what that repulsive prick was going to do to you?”

“What and you do? He wasn’t going to do shit to me if I had anything to say about it.”

Edward opens his eyes and glares into the darkness beyond his headlights, I keep my eyes on his face. Well, the side of it really. I trace the line of his jaw and the curve of his ear, the outline of his eyebrow, nose, and mouth. My memories of what he looks like are shit. They’re nothing compared to what I see now. Absolute perfection. Even the flat mole underneath his hairline on the back of his neck was perfect. Kissable, too. Is this… is this what a vampire is?

Taking in the sight of him with a lense of my newfound knowledge, my heart begins to beat a little heavier in my chest. When he turns his face in my direction, I avert my eyes.

“Melisa?” he asks through clenched teeth a moment later.

My eyes find his face again. “Yeah?”

“Are you all right?”

“Of course,” I say. “I told you nothing happened. I’m okay. Really.”

He inhales deeply through his nose, and then releases the air heavily through his mouth. His hands around the steering wheel had relaxed, but his shoulders were still stiff. He grits his teeth. “You still should have let me take you.”

“I’m not your responsibility, Edward.”

“How do you think Charlie or Bella would feel if something happened to you?’

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “It’s not that dramatic. He was just a creep who wouldn’t take no for an answer. No need to go carving out my tombstone.”

He chuckles darkly. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

Before I can say anything more, my stomach decides now is the perfect time to release a loud, gurgling sound. It echoes in the small, quiet space of his car.

“Melisa,” he chides, putting his Volvo into reverse. “Regular food intake is vital for human bodily function.”

“I forgot, okay? Jeez.” He pulls out onto the main road. “Where are we going now?”

“I’m taking you to dinner.”

I sit, confused and silent, trying to comprehend what was happening. “Like… on a date?”

He glanced sideways at me. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

“I guess…” I’m trying convince myself not to read too much into this. He’s probably just being nice. His reaction didn’t leave me with anything to go on. “So… are you feeling better now?”

“Not really.”

“Would it help if I try to distract you?”

“You can try.”

“Um… Tyler asked me out again today.”

He looks at me with a mixture of surprise and confusion in his expression. “He did?”

“Yeah…” I trail off, then I chuckle. “See you miss things when you ditch school.” Or avoid the sun.

He ignores my comment. “What did you say?”

“I – uh – I turned him down,” I say softly. “I don’t really like him.”

His eyes go back to the road. “You don’t?”

I shake my head. “No.”

We pull into the parking lot of a small Italian restaurant. We get out, and when we get to the restaurant door, he opens it and waits. I walk through, thanking him. He walks beside me to the podium where the hostess is waiting. Judging by her sudden wide-eyed expression she isn’t immune to Edward’s ridiculous appeal. I wonder what she thinks of his companion, i.e., me.

Jk, I know what she’s really thinking. It doesn’t take a mind-reader to know that.

When she doesn’t speak, Edward asks, “Table for two?”

She blinks and her eyes go to me. She reacts as if she’s just now noticing me. “Of course! Welcome to La Bella Italia.”

“Actually,” I interject. “Can we get a booth, please?”

“Oh, yer, yes.”

She leads us to a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant. It’s secluded – not many people will be able to see us.

“How’s this?” she asks.

“Perfect,” Edward says, smiling widely at her.

“Um…” She wavers. Lol. Me, too, girl. Me, too. “Your server will be right out.”

As we slide into the opposite seats, I will admit I’m slightly annoyed. Jealous, really. The hostess is pretty, and so therein lies a simple reason why Edward would like her better.

Ugh. Chill out, Melisa. You guys are just friends. _Just friends._

"What’s wrong?” Edward asks. He braces his folded arms on the tabletop. I keep my hands in my lap and lean back, my eyes tracing the decorative designs underneath the Plexiglas. My thoughts must have reflected on my face.

I shrug before sighing heavily. “It doesn’t matter.”

I catch his frown. “I still want to know,” he says.

“It’s nothing – it’s just,” my words come out rushed, “she’s probably hyperventilating in the back.”

“The hostess?”

“… yeah.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but you kind of an effect on people – women in particular.” When he still looks confused, I continue. “You dazzle people.”

“I dazzle people?” His tone isn’t accusing, but… curious. “Do I dazzle _you_?”

I laugh once, and try to keep my embarrassed smile under control. “Oh, yeah. Absolutely.”

His lips press together like he’s trying to hide a smile. Though one corner of his mouth does turn up. My mind races, trying to imagine why he’d like that idea. He doesn’t really give off self-centered vanity kind of vibes.

As the waitress approaches, I see her pause and smooth down her shirt. The hostess must’ve gushed about the devastatingly attractive guy sitting in front of me. Seeing her primp made me conscious of my appearance as well. I pull the sleeves of my sweater down to grasp the ends in my hands, and reposition the part in my hair with a quick run of my fingers.

“Hello,” the waitress purrs. She places menus before us, and angles her body toward Edward. I can tell she’s ready to do some hardcore flirting. “My name is Amber, and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?”

He looks at me.

“Do you have lemonade?” I ask, tucking my hands under my arms. She reluctantly brings her eyes to me for a moment.

“Two lemonades,” he said.

“I’ll be right back with that,” she assures, pausing to pointedly smile at him. He doesn’t see it, though, because he’s watching me.

When she leaves, I open the menu, and scan it to give myself a break from his intense golden eyed stare. After I’ve looked at a few pages I glance back up to see his attention’s still on me.

“Why do you keep looking at me?” I ask, feeling brave.

He smirks. “What else am I supposed to look at?”

I suck in a breath, _dazzled_ by him once again. “I don’t know, not me.”

“Would you believe me if I said that I like looking at you?”

My eyebrows wrinkle and I give one hard laugh. “Fuck no. I’d sooner believe you if you told me you were a vam– “ I stop abruptly. My face heats and my heart thumps heavier, so hard I can almost feel my pulse in my ears. His face immediately hardens and he leans back, finally looking away from me. He balls his fists before sliding them off the table and putting them in his lap.

The waitress arrives just then with our drinks and a basket of breadsticks. She stands with her back to me as she places them on the table. I wonder if she can sense the sudden tension between the two of us. I grab the straw she’d placed by the glass and busy myself sucking down the lemonade.

“Are you ready to order?” she asks Edward.

“Melisa?” he asks. She unwillingly turns to me.

I quickly gulp down the lemonade and scan the menu again. “Can I get the mushroom ravioli, please?”

“And you?” She turns back to him with a smile.

“Nothing for me,” he says, and my eyes narrow a little. Is not eating human food a thing for vampires? I can speculate all I want about what was true or not, but there are so many variations I’ve read about in books or seen in movies and on TV, who knows what the truth actually is.

“Let me know if you change your mind.” Her flirty smile is still in place, but he doesn’t acknowledge her further.

“Thank you,” I say as she leaves, disappointed. I go back to the lemonade, sipping this time instead of gulping.

There’s silence between us. I’m nervous and anxious about what he’s going to say next. If he says anything at all. I don’t even know what _I’m_ going to say next. How can I recover from a fuck up like that?

“You’d sooner believe me if I said I was a what?” he prompts in a low voice.

Fuuuuuck.

“Um, it was – it was nothing. Forget it.”

“No, what were you going to say?”

“I said forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

"Why did you get into the car with me?” he demands. His eyes are wider now, and if I’m not mistaken, it seems like he’s afraid of my answer.

I shrug. “I… feel safe with you,” I say slowly, as calmly as I can. “We’re friends.”

He’s definitely not pleased with my answer. He develops a deep frown.

“I can’t forget it,” he says. “I… _need_ to know… what you suspect.”

Well… shit. I look down and lean back in the booth, almost mirroring his position. Look what I just done did. I just _fucked_ up. I fucked up everything. Me and my fucking mouth.

I don’t want to lie to him. He knows what I was about to say. He knows that I know. Or he thinks I do.

“Melisa?” he says, interrupting my thoughts.

“Yeah, I know.” I hesitate some more. My eyes are glued to the table. I don’t want to read his face and only see bad news there.

“I”- deep breath, Melisa, deep breath –“I want you to know that even I think what I’m about to say is crazy. It’s crazy if it’s true and it’s still crazy even if it’s not, but it’s the only thing that makes _sense_.”

I pause. He doesn’t say anything or move. He’s looking at me, waiting for me to continue.

“You’re super-fast, and super strong. You’re pale as a corpse, and you don’t go out in sunlight.” I pause again to take a deep breath and sigh. “Bella told me about these stories the Quileutes have of you and your family… They call you the Cold Ones…”

I stop for a third time only because it seems his eyes are begging me not to continue, pleading with me to be wrong.

“I think you might be a vampire.”

He looks down, folding and unfolding his large hands together slowly. His eyes flicker up to me from under his lashes, the hint of a frown on his face. “Are you afraid?”

“Of what?” I ask quietly. “Like I’ve said before, I don’t think you’re bad. _Capable_ of bad things? Yeah, sure, everybody is. But I don’t think you _are_ bad. I’m only so… reluctant to tell you because I don’t wanna lose you.”

He opens his mouth to speak, and it seems he has to force out the words. “But if you believe I’m something so _vile_ , and _repulsive_ , how can you stand to sit here with me?”

I sit up straighter, putting my hands on the table again. “When did I say I found you vile and repulsive?”

“But you said –“

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”

Edward doesn’t volunteer any more information, but I have to have more answers.

“So… I’m right? It’s true?”

He hasn’t denied me yet. He seems to be wavering, torn by some internal dilemma. His eyes lock with mine, and I guess he was making the decision right then whether or not to simply tell me the truth. “… yes.”

I couldn’t very well not believe him. I’ve got evidence. I’ve seen it. And now here he is telling me it was true. “Wow,” I say, staring at my fidgeting fingers. “That’s… kind of amazing.” What else was out there that was true?

But I can’t think about that right now. Whether I was going to lose a friend was much more important.

“Are you going to leave now?” I ask.

“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” he asks.

“Why would I? You’re my only friend here.”

I spend a few moments too long staring into the light golden depths of his eyes. When the waitress appears again, this time with my order, I’m pulled out of the daze I was in. I take a few deep breaths to clear my head, and straighten up.

“Did you change your mind?” she asks Edward. “Are you sure there isn’t _anything_ I can get you?” I want to roll my eyes at how suggestive she sounds.

He flashes a smile at her. “No, thank you.”

I smile and thank her again as she leaves, silently rejoicing to have hot food in front of me. I unroll the fork from the napkin and take a bite of the steaming ravioli. It’s really good.

“Did you have plans to voice your suspicions before now?” he asks after a moment.

I swallow before speaking. “I’m don’t know honestly.”

“Why not?”

“Well I had my doubts,” I confess. “I didn’t wanna say anything only to have you laugh at me. I didn’t wanna risk what we have over something stupid.” I take another bite. “The only thing I’m honestly afraid of is you not talking to me again, or leaving.”

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” he asks. “You should be terrified.”

“I am terrified,” I say. Concern and fear glimmer off his face. “I’m terrified that this is it. That you’ll just walk away right now and I’ll never see you again.”

“You’re so certain of that?”

“I’m not… I just fear the worst.”

“You’re not worried that I’m dangerous?” he asks. He leans forward, his eyes intense. “I could crush your skull with one hand like it was nothing more than an egg.”

I cann’t help but laugh. “Well, when you put it like _that_ …” I trail off, but my face retains the mirth. He sits back, and turns his head away. Is he pouting?

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Now that I know the truth, I don’t think it matters.”

“It doesn’t _matter_?” he says through his teeth.

“It doesn’t change anything for me. I still like who you are as a person.”

“A person?” he exclaims as loudly as he can without drawing too much attention to us. “I’m not a person, Melisa. I’m a monster.”

“Mmmmm no. I don’t believe that.”

“Then you don’t understand! I’m a killer.”

“Agree to disagree.”

He sighs in exasperation, one of his hands running down his face.

“Why are you so angry?” I ask.

“Because you don’t seem to quite grasp the danger you’re in with me.”

My voice is quiet. “I told you I feel safe with you. You’ve given me absolutely no reason to think you’d hurt me. You even saved my life. The only thing I really have to be creeped out by is how you knew exactly where I was, and seemed to arrive just in time.”

He smiles wryly. “If I’d been paying proper attention, then the timing wouldn’t have needed to be so exact.”

I raise my eyebrows with interest. “Oh well now you _have_ to tell me.”

“I followed you to Port Angeles,” he admits, speaking in a rush. “I’ve never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it’s much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that’s probably just because it’s you. Ordinary people would seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes.” He pauses, and I know that I should probably be creeped out by his actual admittance to following me, but honestly? I already knew the truth. There was no other way he could’ve known where I was.

“Did you ever think that maybe my number was up a while ago?” I ask.

“The van wasn’t the first time,” he says, and his voice is hard to hear. “Your number was up the first time I met you.”

I sit back, straighter than I had been. “I don’t think you have anything to do with it. I think I was supposed to die before I ever met you.”

He stares at me, perplexed. “I just tell you that I’ve wanted to kill you since the moment we met and you’re not even bothered.”

“Um… that’s true, I guess. You were a bit weird when we first met, but it’s different now.”

“What did you mean before?” he asks. “About dying before we met?”

I take a few moments to answer. I know it’s been over two months, but the wounds were still fresh.

“My parents and little brother were on their way home from my brother’s choir concert at school. I had originally planned to go that night, but instead chose last minute to hang out with my friends.” I sit frozen in my seat, my eyes unseeing as I stare into the plate of pasta. The suddenly unappetizing pasta. I put my fork down again. “I was supposed to be in that car. I should’ve been _driving_ that car. Maybe if I had been, then they’d… they’d still be alive. Or maybe I’d be dead, too.”

“Melisa,” he says, his voice soft. I look up at his face, and instantly feel better. How does he do that? “You shouldn’t blame yourself for that. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, I’ll never really know, will I?”

He smiles again, trying to comfort me, I suppose. I put down my fork, and give him awkward finger guns with an even more awkward smile.

The waitress stops by and Edward asks for the check. When she hands him the folder, he slides cash into it to hand back. I ain’t a broke hoe. I can pay for myself. Oh fuckin well I guess.

“No change,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	10. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truths are revealed and some shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS EDITED MWAHAHAHAHA. Now I can finally work on the next chapter bc I feel like what I've written so far is done.

As we leave the restaurant soon after and walk to his car, I have the strongest urge to hold Edward’s hand. I debate in my head whether that would be too forward or not. I end up deciding not to because I’m too scared of his reaction. Maybe he’d find that idea repulsive. He opens the passenger door for me and then gets in the car. He starts the car and turns on the heat.

“Thank you for buying me dinner,” I say as I fasten my seatbelt.

“My pleasure,” he smiles. “That went a lot better than I had hoped.”

“lol did you think it was going to end in blood, guts, and glory?”

His smile fades quickly. “Not the glory.”

“Okay,” I laugh. “Not the glory…”

He pulls out onto the road, heading back to Forks. There’s a bit of silence as I contemplate whether I could ask him the questions that I’ve been dying to know the answers to. He says he’s a vampire. That he’s… a killer.

“What’re you thinking?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“Um…” I hesitate. I look back at him and he seems on edge again. “You said earlier that you were a killer. A killer of what?”

He hesitates, choosing his answer carefully. “Animals, mostly. Like bears, wildcats, deer.”

“So you drink blood?”

“Yes.”

“Human blood, too?”

“Yes, but like I said, my family and I hunt animals.”

“Why?”

“I don’t _want_ to be a monster.”

“Is it enough?” I ask quietly.

He searches for a way to explain. “I can’t be sure, of course, but I’d compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn’t completely satiate the hunger – or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time.” His voice drops. “Sometimes it’s more difficult than others.”

I hesitate. “Is it… difficult for you now?”

He sighs. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault.”

“I feel like it is,” I say. “Is it difficult around all humans?”

“No,” he admits. “It’s just you.”

Well, fuck. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“I just tell you that I want your blood and you’re worried there’s something wrong with you?” he asks, astounded. “Incredible.”

“What can I say?” I shrug. “I guess I’m just stupid.”

He chuckles. “Maybe.”

“Did you go… hunting this weekend, with Emmett?” I ask, trying to change topics. I’m not exactly sure if I’ve completely wrapped my head around the whole thing yet.

“How did you know?”

“You said you guys were going hiking up in the mountains. Where else are you gonna find bears and wildcats?”

He chuckles again. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I do have a shit load of more questions now…”

He sighs. “What do you want to know?”

“How old are you… Really?”

His answer is slow. “117.”

My jaw drops, and my eyes widen. My voice gets higher as I say, “Whaaaaaattt?”

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

“That’s so cool,” I say, honestly impressed. “To think that you’ve lived through all that history…” I shake my head. “But anyways, what about the sun? Does it hurt you?”

“Myth.”

“Is the sun why you weren’t in school? Besides hunting?”

He meets my gaze briefly. “I didn’t want to leave,” he says slowly, “but it was necessary. It’s a bit easier to be around you when I’m not thirsty.”

“Why didn’t you want to leave?”

He takes a deep breath. “It makes me… anxious to be away from you. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. You didn’t leave my thoughts for a moment… Then I finally gave in and texted you.”

“You missed me,” I say, remembering the conversation. I smile. “It’s okay, though, because I, obviously, missed you, too.”

He smiles, continuing. “It was better, being in some form of contact with you. Even though it was still a very long three days. I really got on Emmett’s nerves.”

“Three days?” I ask. “Didn’t you just get back today?”

His smile disappears. “No, we got back Sunday.”

“Why can’t you go out in the sun?”

“You asked if the sun hurt me, it doesn’t,” he says. “But I can’t go out in the sunlight, at least, not where anyone can see.”

“Why?”

“I’ll show you sometime.”

“Promise?” I ask quietly.

“Promise?” he repeats, confused.

“Promise me that I’ll see you again after tonight,” I press. “I don’t want you to disappear.”

There’s a reason that I miss him when he’s not around. I thoroughly enjoy being in his company. Spending time with him, talking to him. Even now after the truth has been revealed… I don’t want him to go.

But, also, hold the fuck UP. I need to come to terms with the fact – no, the possibility – that he likes me back. That, to be honest, is much more unbelievable than the whole vampire thing. An actual BOY likes me??? It’s so wild. A lot of what he’s said points to the possibility that he does.

“Ah,” he groans. “This is wrong.”

“What?” I ask, my voice a little panicky. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you see, Melisa? It’s one thing for me to make myself miserable, but wholly other thing for you to be so involved.”

“Don’t _you_ see?” I repeat. “I am involved. I know I haven’t known you for very long, but I know that I like you _a lot_.” Fuuuuuck. I know I should stop myself from saying anything further because I’ve got a sinking feeling what I’m going to say I’ll wind up regretting. However, my dumbass self can’t seem to find the off button. This is too much of a rush. “And yes, you can say that’s crazy because I don’t know that much about who you are besides the whole vampire thing. But I know that you already mean too much for me to let you go.”

“I don’t want to hear you feel that way,” he says. “It’s wrong. It’s not safe. I’m dangerous, Melisa – please, grasp that.”

“Nope.” I fold my arms across my chest and stare out the windshield. I’m trying to ignore the pain in my chest at his rejection. My throat’s tightening.

His words come out as a growl. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” I insist. I want to cry. “I told you, it doesn’t matter what you are. It’s too late.”

“ _Never say that_ ,” he hisses.

Well FUCK. There it goes. My breath hitches and breaks. I sink my teeth into my bottom lip as my face twists into the ugly cry face that I hate so much.

“What are you thinking?” he asks after I don’t provide a response.

I shake my head. Words are too much right now.

“Are you crying?” he says in disbelief.

It hurts to breathe, and my voice comes out strangled. “Trying not to.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him reach for me, but then he pauses and lowers his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his jaw locked.

He doesn’t say anything more, and I concentrate on calming down. After a few moments, my face relaxes and I can breathe once again. I’m not done with my interrogation, though. I’ve got to ask him one more thing.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” I say shyly. I can feel my face heating up from embarrassment.

“Yes.”

“So…” I hesitate, “do you like me back?”

“You have to ask?” he asks dryly. “I thought it was obvious.”

“Maybe, but I don’t like to infer things. In the past I’ve gotten shit wrong and fucked everything up. It’s easier to be simple.”

“Well, to put it simply, and quite mildly,” he pauses a beat, “I do like you.”

My eyebrows raise and my heart beats heavier. To say the least, I’m shocked. Shocked, but… joyful. It’s definitely a new experience.

“Dope,” I say, smiling shyly at him. I look back out the window, and recognize Charlie’s neighborhood.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” I ask abruptly, looking back at him.

“Yes.” He smiles at me. “I’ll save you a seat at lunch.”

He stops the car in front of my uncle’s house, but I made no move to leave.

“Do you promise to be there?” I insist.

He chuckles. “What’s with all of these promises? That’s twice now.”

“Well, I just need to make sure that I don’t have to worry. I need to be sure that I’m going to see you again.”

He looks at me directly, his eyes boring into mine. I can’t help myself from getting lost in his when I stare back.

“I promise.”

“Good,” I say, satisfied. I look away to regain my composure. I place my hand on the door handle, but still I’m reluctant to leave.

“Melisa?” he asks, and I relish in the pleasure of hearing my name in his voice again. His so fucking attractive voice. Uuughghg.

“Yeah?” I say, hoping my thirstiness is well hidden.

“Will you promise me something?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t go into the woods alone,” he warns.

My eyebrows snap together in objection and confusion. “Why?”

“I’m not always the most dangerous thing out there,” he tells me. “Let’s leave it at that.”

I’m excited by the idea that there could be more paranormal beings out there that I’m unaware of. Like, it’s cool. But I’m not worried.

“Yeah, okay,” I say sarcastically.

He sighs. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I say again, but happier. I open my door.

I’m sliding out of the seat, when he leans after me. “Melisa?”

I turn and freeze when I find his face is so close to mine. Close enough that I could just lean forward and easily close the distance. But I’m frozen staring wide eyed at him, my lips parted slightly.

“Sleep well,” he whispers, and the movement of his mouth draws my eyes. There’s a second’s pause where I ponder the possibility he’d let me kiss him. The moment seemed perfect so my eyes flutter closed and I lean toward him.

There’s a rush, and I open my eyes to see him pressed back against his door, the furthest possible distance he can be from me. I can’t explain the pained expression on his face.

I quickly turn back to open the door. I concentrate on taking deep breaths to quickly mask the hurt. “Sorry,” I say quietly.

“Don’t be sorry,” he responds quickly.

“Yeah…”

“Please.” I look back at him. His face is pleading. “Don’t be upset. It’s just not a good idea.”

“Whatever you say.” I get out of the car. “See you tomorrow.”

I close the door and watch him drive away from Charlie’s porch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tell me what you think? With the characters and where the story is going... I know it's not that different from the original, but yeah.


	11. Chicks Like Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's um... a lot of talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuckity fuck. Hey yall I know it's been two whole fucking years since i last updated, but it doesn't feel like that. LIfe's been busy and I've honestly been working on this fucking chapter for the entire time and I still feel like it hasn't ended in a good place. I keep rereading the story so far, and it took me over a year to actually start this chapter off in a good way. 
> 
> That being said, I hope you like it, and don't forget to leave a comment telling me what you think!
> 
> Thank you!!!
> 
> ps i recommend watching the youtube video i have linked. it basically gives you a visual for what i've got in my head because I feel like my description doesn't do it justice. the only difference obviously would be the part in the video about the shoes.

 

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQu_rUBi9XE>

 

I get ready for bed slowly and quietly. Quiet not just in movements, but in my thoughts as well. So much happened tonight; so much was said. I just need to let all of the information soak. But I can’t lie. In bed, trying to fall asleep, I can’t stop the constant replay of that last bit of tonight, before we said goodbye.   

That rejection really left me butt hurt. The fear that was so clear on his face won’t leave my mind. He doesn’t like me… not in that way. Not in the way I’ve been imagining from the moment I saw his beautiful face.

Which I understand, of course. I’m not what I’d call beautiful. I can be cute sometimes in some of my selfies, but I’m nowhere close to meeting the qualifications for the naturally stunning. I’ve got oily ass skin and hair in places that’s not socially acceptable to have hair. I’ve got a big ass forehead and there’s just something about the shape of my face that’s not exactly appealing to the eye. I’m also… fat. Well, I’d say curvy, thiccc, plus size, etc… Maybe he’s just not into chicks like me? I can’t blame him for not wanting to kiss me.

 

After my alarm goes off in the morning, I sit on the edge of my bed, the memories from yesterday slowly coming back to the front. Fuck.

I race through my morning routine which includes showering, brushing my teeth, putting on my makeup, and clothes. As I’m yanking my socks and shoes onto my feet, Bella knocks on my door.

“Uh, Melisa?” she says, peeking around my door. “Edward Cullen’s outside waiting for you.”

“No way!” I push past her and rush down the stairs, almost stumbling in my hurry to get to the door. I swing it open and there’s Edward FREAKING Cullen standing on the porch, his Volvo parked in the street.

He smiles when he sees me. His eyes rake themselves along my form, taking in my appearance. He raises on eyebrow when he spies my feet, one foot clad in a sock and an untied shoe, the other bare. I smile and wiggle the toes on my bare foot. [[Please watch this link bc it describes what happens better than I could](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQu_rUBi9XE)]

“Hi,” I say.

“Good morning,” he smiles again. “I was wondering if you wanted a ride to school.”

“Yes,” I respond without hesitation. “Uh, just gimme a few moments to finish getting ready, okay?”

“Alright. I’ll wait by the car.”

I stand for a moment, watching him walk away. Then I unfreeze and close the door, running back up the stairs to continue getting ready, now an even _extra_ pep in my step. Before I leave my room, my backpack slung over my shoulders, I give myself a once-over in the mirror on the back of my door. Just checking to make sure my hair’s parted the correct way that flatters my face better. I also make a last minute dash to the dresser to spray myself down with my favorite strawberry perfume. Mostly I put it on to make sure I smell good for the hot stuff waiting for me outside, but as an afterthought I wonder if it will help the difficulty he has around me. Maybe I won’t smell so… appetizing. Question mark?

Once I’m satisfied, I practically bounce down the stairs, and almost run head-on into Bella.

“What’s he doing here?” she asks in hushed tones. “I didn’t know you guys were on this level.”

“Um, neither did I,” I say honestly. “Obviously, I didn’t expect to see him here.” I giggle sheepishly.

“I hope you know you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do,” she says. I’m nudging myself toward the door, eager to leave.

“Like what?”

“Like are you guys dating??? What’re your feelings for him?”

I back away. “Aaahhh. Those are some very heavy questions and I do not have any answers for you right now.” I finally turn away to open the door, saying over my shoulder, “I’ll see you later.”

Aaand I am finally out the door. I know it was only minutes, but it still felt like forever. Edward was leaning against the passenger side door of his car. As I approach I smile at him. He gives me a crooked smile in return and opens the door for me.

“Thanks,” I say as I slide in. He closes the door and flashes around to the other side, using his “super speed”, I guess.

We’re quiet in the car because I guess I don’t know what to say. Sure, I’ve got more questions about the whole vampire thing, but I’m not gonna ask them at the ass-crack of dawn.

Almost as if he were reading my mind, he asks lightly, “What, no twenty questions today?”

I smile. “Why, do my questions bother you?”

“Not as much as your reactions do,” he tells me, smiling back.

My smile fades. “Do I react badly?”

“No, that’s the problem. You’re taking everything in stride – it’s unnatural,” he says. “It makes me wonder what you’re really thinking.”

“Well, luckily for you I don’t tend to hold back much.”

“I’m sure you edit.”

I shrug. “Eh, not really.”

“Enough to drive me insane.”

“Seriously, I don’t. I tell you what I’m thinking.”

“Mm-hm,” he hums doubtfully. I sigh and look out the window, resettling in my seat, hugging my bag closer in my arms.

“What’s that smell?” he asks after a few moments.

“Oh, I um, sprayed a bit more perfume than usual. Does it help with the smell?”

“Not really,” he says. “But it’s an interesting combination.”

“Lol okay.”

Edward parks in his usual spot in the school lot. “Wait a moment for me to open your door,” he says, grabbing his backpack from behind me. “I’d move faster, but that kind of speed would spark some attention.”

“Pppff,” I scoff, unbuckling my seatbelt before I pull the door handle and slide out. I close the door and shrug my backpack onto my shoulders, waiting until he’s out of the car before speaking. “I can get my own door.”

“Of course you can,” he says. “You’re just going to have to get used to being treated with more courtesy.”

“And I am all for that,” I say. “But can you still let me open my own door?”

He sighs, rolling his eyes. “I suppose.”

“Awesome. Thank you,” I say, smiling at him.

A car passes by us, drawing my attention to the rest of the parking lot. Bella’s just pulled into her usual spot, and a couple rows down from us is a bright red convertible. Edward notices my stare and chuckles. “Ostentatious, isn’t it?”

I look back at him. “Do you know whose car that is?”

“It belongs to my sister, Rosalie.”

“Your sister…” I trail off. “Are any of them actually related to you?”

“Not by blood.”

“Oooh, and, no offense, but why does she ride with you if she has _that_?”

“Like I said, it’s ostentatious. We _try_ to blend in.”

I laugh. “Well you don’t succeed.”

We start to walk toward the school. “So why did she drive if it’s more noticeable?” I ask.

“Haven’t you noticed? I’m breaking _all_ the rules now.”

I’m not 100% sure what he meant by that, but I just shrug it off. “That’s fair.”

When we get to the building, he pointedly strides ahead of me to open the door for me. He then stands back, bowing slightly with the hint of a grin on his face. I’m flattered and annoyed at the same time, so I bite my lip in an attempt to stop my embarrassed smile and resist the urge to roll my eyes.

As we move further into the school I quickly notice that there are dozens of eyes watching us. Their stares steadily remind me that I’ve no business interacting with someone – vampire or not – who looks like Edward. Sigh.

He must’ve seen the look on my face because he asks, “What’s wrong?”

I want to lie and say that I’m fine, however I know I’d feel real fuckin’ guilty about lying after _just_ confessing to him I tell him what I really think. I bring my eyes to his face, but I’m not seeing it. Luckily, the warning bell rings to save me.

“Um, I’ll tell you later,” I say, backing away. “I’mma go to class.”

“Let me walk you.”

“That’s okay,” I say quickly. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Of course.”

I give him a small smile and turn my back to him.

Mindlessly, I walk through the halls to class. As before, I’m not really seeing what I’m looking at. Was I rude just then? Did I sound rude? Fuck. I try my best _not_ to be a dick.

I hear my name and I snap out of my daze. I realize Bella’s in front of me.

“Yeah?” I ask, pausing.

“Are you gonna tell me what all that was this morning?” she asks just as the last bell rings.

“Uuuuummmm…. Later.” I push past her to skedaddle into my class.

 

It’s like the first day of school all over again. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, and so I think it’s safe to assume they could be talking about me too. As I go about my day I try my best to ignore it, listening to music between classes, and dosing off.

A part of me is excited for lunch, but the other part is nervous as fuck now. I’ve no idea how to deal with this situation. I know I shouldn’t care what people think or say of me, but I do. Because if the general consensus is I shouldn’t be around Edward, then why wouldn’t he think the same? There are plenty of people here more gorgeous than me. Once he’s done with me, he’ll move on to one of them.

Why am I more nervous to be around him because he might not find me attractive than I do because I know he’s a vampire? That doesn’t really make any sense.

Lunch rolls around soon enough, thank god, and I wade myself through the school mass to find Edward seated at our usual table, a tray of food already placed before him. It sparks my curiosity, but also makes my stomach growl. I hadn’t planned on getting lunch because I knew everyone’s eyes would be on me as I ate… I don’t need my anxiety to wound my confidence any more than it already has today. When it comes to eating in public, I’m going to have to build up my indifference to other’s opinions all over again.

Edward smiles at me as I take my seat across from him and smile in return.

“How’s your day been?” he asks.

“It feels like the first day of school all over again to be honest.”

He frowns. “Why’s that?”

“People are paying more attention to me today than they have in weeks,” I explain. “All eyes are on me just because I showed up in your car this morning.”

He braces his arms on the table, his eyes looking somewhere over my head. “Mmm, that guy isn’t looking… Never mind, he just looked.” His expression conveys humor along with his tone.

“This isn’t funny,” I say. “I don’t need to be the center of attention just because I’m hanging with a particular attractive boy.”

He perked up at that last bit, tilting his head to feign subtle interest. “You find me attractive?”

I sigh. “As if I haven’t _already_ made that clear.” My mind projects last night’s almost-kiss across my thoughts. I’d read the signs wrong. Everything that had happened alluded to the fact that he was into me; his body language, eye contact, etc.. Not only that, but he’d explicitly said that he liked me… Just not like that I guess.

Bella cuts into my line of vision by walking behind Edward with her tray, on her way to her usual table. She side-eyes me and Edward, and dread seeps into my chest, spreading throughout my body. He follows my eyes and glances over his shoulder at her when her back is turned.

“What’re you going to tell her?” he asks me.

“How did-“

He raises a finger to tap below is ear. “Super hearing,” he explains. “She wants to know if we’re dating… and how you feel about me.”

“I know,” I sigh. “What should I say?” I lean in closer to him, bracing my arms on the table.

“Hmmm,” he ponders. His eyes roam my face, finally landing on something below my chin. His hand reaches for it – a strand of hair that had departed from my head – and delicately picks it out and tosses it. “I suppose you could say yes to the first… if you don’t mind. It’s easier than any other explanation.”

Initially my face begins to reveal the fact that I’m flipping out internally. My eyes widen before I quickly regain control, keeping my expression neutral and my breathing steady. Though my heart has decided to loudly and heavily thump in my chest.

“As for her other question…,” he continues, “the truth, I suppose, as you are so fond of being honest about your thoughts.”

“I wish it were that easy and simple.” I search my thoughts for the best way to phrase this. “She’s got a crush on you – big time. If I told her the truth about how I feel, she’d probably go nuts. Stab me in my sleep maybe.” And does dating equate being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? I’ve no fucking clue. I know I just glossed over the fact that he just said he wanted her to think we’re dating, but don’t think I’m actually taking that lightly. Honestly it’s even harder to process than him being a vampire. If he doesn’t want to kiss me, why does he want to date me?

“I’m aware she has feelings for me.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of obvious, to be honest. She stares a lot.”

He chuckles. “So do you.”

“Sorry, we can’t help that you’re God’s gift to our ovaries,” I say defensively.

He laughs – quite loudly, drawing the attention of nearby tables.

“What’s so funny?” I ask. “It’s a tragic situation!”

“How so?” he asks, laughter still on his lips.

“I can hardly concentrate on anything when you’re around. My stupid monkey brain can only focus on you.”

My words hang in the space between us, but he leans forward as if the words pull him to me. “I will have you know that it’s likewise.”

“Then why didn’t you kiss me last night?” I blurt out. Fuuuuuuck. I regret what I said before the words had finished leaving my mouth.

His eyebrows furrow. “Believe me, I wanted to kiss you.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I didn’t want to kill you,” he says through clenched teeth. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough. Being near you like that, so close to your neck… It’s too dangerous.”

I don’t say anything immediately. I just let the embarrassment spread through my chest. Why didn’t I fucking realize that??? I’m so fucking stupid.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have pushed the situation onto you. I worried it was because you didn’t like me… in that way… That you didn’t find me attractive or something like that.”

“Don’t worry about that,” he says. “Because what you’re thinking isn’t true.”

“That’s a relief then I guess.”

“Did you want something to eat?” he asks, pushing the tray of food toward me.

“No thanks,” I say immediately. My stomach rumbles quietly.

“Your body’s saying otherwise, Melisa.”

“Wait, did you actually hear that?”

“Yes.”

“That’s pretty fucking cool.” It rumbles again.

“Why aren’t you going to eat?”

“Why aren’t you?” I ask. I gesture to his tray. “Can you even eat any of this?”

Keeping his eyes on me, he grabs a chicken tender, and takes a bite. He chews and swallows.

“Technically,” he says, “I can eat all of it, but my body can’t digest it. I’m going to have to cough that up later.” He makes a look of disgust.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t have to do that. I would’ve believed you.”

Edward’s tone is doubtful. “Would you?”

“Absolutely,” I say.

The bell rings. Lunch is over. We stand and I wait by the door for him to throw the tray away. When he appears at my side, we start in the direction of our English class.

“I have a question for you,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?”

The question is unexpected, so I grapple a moment for a truthful response.

“No,” I say slowly. “It was just an excuse.”

“Do you mind if we do something different?”

“I’m open to alternatives.”

“The weather will be nice,” he tells me. “So I’ll be staying out of the public eye… and you can stay with me, if you’d like to.”

I look up at him, surprise on my face. “You’re actually going to show me what you meant? About the sun?”

He smiles. “Yes. But…” – he becomes serious again – “if you don’t want to be… alone with me, I’d understand.”

“I’ve spent time alone with you before. Why would there be a difference?”

“Location,” he says, but doesn’t explain any further.

“Ah… well, I don’t mind being alone with you.”

“I know.” He sighs. “You should tell Charlie, though.”

“What? _Why?_ ”

He glares at me. “To give me some small incentive to bring you back,” he hisses.

I’m taken aback by his flash of anger, but I consider what he said. He wants a witness. Someone who’ll notice if I go missing. If he… kills me.

“I think I’ll take my chances. I’m more scared of having to tell him that than I am of you accidentally doing something to me.”

“Accidentally?”

“Wouldn’t it be?”

We’ve reached the classroom door, and he’s slowed his pace, thinking. His eyes never leave my face.

“Yes, I suppose it would be.”

“And so you’ll be careful,” I say, walking into the classroom. “Like usual.”

“… Yes.”

“So we’ll be fine,” I say confidently, trying to reassure him.

The expression on his face says he wasn’t entire convinced. Oh well. He’ll just have to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your reminder to leave a comment!


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